WAY BACK IN EAST BERLIN AT STASI HQ

Stasi_museum_exteriiorThis is the headquarters of the East German Security Forces – STASI. It’s now a museum. We went there today in an appropriately grey, rainy day. We left the brightly lit neighborhood where we’re staying and took the U Bahn (subway). The exit from the station was breathtaking. Literally. I’d been all over East Germany, in Dresden, East Berlin and all the little towns along the way as well as in both Prague and Budapest — on several occasions before the Wall fell. I know more than most Americans about the grossness of life for the people trapped there for so many years.

Somehow though – after leaving funky Prenzlauer Berg – and even the U Bahn station with its neon and magazine stands and climbing the stairs to find – the past – was stunning. This part of Berlin is still as it was – lines of grey, sterile, tall apartment blocks. Each looking like the end of the line. No signs. No ads. No nothing. You walk a block and go into a parking lot, up a little rise and there’s the building in this photo.

Enter and its shabby and grey. Here’s whose statue is in the lobby.

Karl_marx_statue_smYup it’s Karl Marx – but this time he’s a small copy and here to remind us what used to be. And what used to be is pretty bad. I wish I could explain what it felt like to wander the halls where these men (it was mostly men) dominated and terrorized generations of East German citizens. To see truncheons and vans that travelled day and night with receivers to pick up random conversations – and photos of sweeps and arrests – and of this cell.
Stasi_museum_cell

Now remember, I’m an old leftie myself. I wish the world could allow people to give what they can and receive what they need. But this is not what was happening here. Not at all. Fear was the dominant value – and conformity to prevent any threat to the state. Walking around looking in those bland offices and at the room after room of photos and documents had far more impact than even atrocity stories about the period. Because if you’ve been around eastern Europe before 1990 you knew the weight on your heart; you could feel the thickness in the air. And it was from this place that enforcement of that weight emanated. The museum not a fancy place and I don’t think much visited but if you come to Berlin (and you’ll love it here) come here. It’s a deeply disturbing reminder of what people are capable of doing and of how they always call it something else when they’re doing it. We had lots of thoughts about what’s happening at home now in relation to this – but that’s a conversation for another day.

RainAnd here’s a little bonus – the view out the double decker top deck on a bus later in the day — in a more liveable part of what was the East, in the same rain…..

THE ADVENTURE THAT IS BERLIN

Ackselhaus_door_small_2 That’s the door to the apartment we stay in when we’re in Berlin (oh – we’re in Berlin.) It’s in a part of town that was far into East Berlin when the Wall divided the city and the magnificent old buildings were devastated by neglect. Slowly, building by building, that’s been changing in the years we’ve been coming here. It’s quite thrilling to see.

Pasternak_crowd_smallThis neighborhood, Prenzlauer Berg, is kind of like Soho was in the 70’s — pioneers, cool galleries and an amazing yarn store, more people on bicycles than in cars (though that’s changing) and an air of expectation, thought and excitement. It’s a joy to be a (pretend) part of it in our little weekly rental.
I want to tell you all about it – the way this city puts your brain into overdrive, the restaurant a block away where President Bill Clinton turned the town upside down by coming to dinner, the parent- created playground, the fancy apartment house that used to be a Gestapo HQ – but I’ve been up for 24+ hours so all that will have to wait. We’re here and it’s cool to be here and I’ll share as much of it as I can over these next few days. OH – and for all my Jewish friends who “will never go to Germany” – I respect your feelings but one of the most exciting things happening here is the re-creation of a young, vibrant Jewish community by Jews determined to go past the Holocaust and take their rightful place. More on that later, too.

BARACK, RUSH AND HATE BEYOND HATE

You aren’t going to believe this!  The fact that this aired on a "mainstream" program –albeit Rush Limbaugh, is, indeed, beyond belief.

The viciousness of it, and the fact that Limbaugh remains so popular, is very scary. Inspired by my friend Cooper Munroe, who posts her outrages, I offer it here. If it won’t play (I am NOT quite clever at the relationship between TypePad and YouTube) here’s the link.

GREY’S ANATOMY, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, MEMORY AND ME

Foggy_4 Research shows that I’m hardly alone in this, but I have a deep and abiding fear of disappearing into the fog that is Alzheimer’s disease.  I’m approaching my 61st birthday, which, these days, is young.  Horrible to contemplate, but NOT old.  Actually even for the last generation it’s not much – my dad lived to be 78 and my mom 80.  So even in WWII generation terms, I’d have a good crack at at least 20 more years.  And when I think about dying I really worry more about the sadness of those I love than anything else.  No one wants her life to be over, but unlike many of my friends, including those far younger, I’m not terrified.

Alzheimer’s is different though.  If you read the statistics, the odds are pretty scary for all of us.  Today the New York Times reports (actually I think a little late – if you don’t have Times Select try this story on amNewYork) on a new awareness program by the Alzheimer’s Association.  Here’s the video (short.)  That’s good.

Azheimers_kate_burton_j And it even includes Kate Burton, Meridith Grey’s mother (Grey’s Anatomy for those of you not addicted already.)  Kate_and_meridith_3 Her character, in a series of almost unbearable episodes, suffered from Alzheimer’s.  There is so much written about this disease and the risk to our nation’s future, one person at a time, but if the documents are to be believed research is far behind potential.

As usual it’s a question of money.  And I know I should care about that.  I guess I do.  But what’s tougher for me is to face, almost daily, the small memory losses and forgetful moments of aging and not fear that they are all connected to the disease.  People my age even joke about it – calling it “old timer’s” disease or “senior moments” but all it is is awful.  To lose a word, see know the star of a classic film and not be able to retrieve the name, work a crossword puzzle (recommended to maintain brain “muscles” and besides I love them) and KNOW the missing word somewhere in your brain – but no place where you can get to it…. it’s all terrifying.

Think about it.  Spouses who’ve shared years of generating memories suddenly seeing you lose yours; knowing daily that your access to those moments is disappearing.  Children who’ve struggled to build strong and independent lives burdened with the emotional obligations created by a wasting disease in a parent.  Friends self-conscious and uneasy on visits they know they should make – if they even have the strength to make them.  Can you imagine anything worse – except the painful, protracted ending that cancer often brings?

As I write this, random thoughts wander through my mind.  Most dominant are lyrics from a Bruce Springsteen (of course) song.

I don’t wanna fade away, Oh I don’t wanna fade away, Tell me what can I do what can I say, Cause darlin’ I don’t wanna fade away.

Yeah it’s about the end of a love affair but it’s playing in my head as a kind of Alzheimer’s anthem so you have to listen too.

The other things are really corny but right now I think I need to be corny.  This one is part of what we read at the beginning of our wedding almost 36 years ago:  In the time of your life, live—so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite delight and mystery of it.  It’s from William Saroyan’s play The Time of Your Life.

The other is from Our Town.  And I know it’s old fashioned and sentimental.  But as I look this terror in the eye, I know it’s what I have to do to keep it at bay.

Emily: Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?–every, every minute?
Stage Manager: No. Saints and poets, maybe–they do some.

I guess the answer to all this is to aim for the saints and the angels.  Nothing is going to prevent the future from happening; not faith, not love, not Hogwart’s magic, not even the miraculous gift of children.  So each day I need to be as present as I can.  Whatever happens it’s a blow against the unknown and a prayer of gratitude for the privilege of being present and aware.

CALLING ALL NEWS JUNKIES

Jibjab_news It’s almost Shabbat and I only have a second but if you’re hanging around the web this weekend don’t miss this.  It’s the newest Jib Jab video and will tell you all you need to know about why I went from TV to the web.  Happy Passover!   

DON’T LET THEM! ACT ON MARCH 30

Weeping_sketch_3 When you first hear the term "cyberstalking" you think it’s a joke.  Well guess what.  It’s not.  Read this.  It’s the post of a prominent blogger who has canceled speaking engagements and remains frightened and close to agoraphobic because of vicious  and threatening online attacks, both verbal and visual.  I started to post one of the photos, but just couldn’t do it.  So instead you see how I felt upon reading Kathy Siera’s post. 

Death threats, violently edited photos of bloggers as well as violent, vicious prose, are a grave threat not only to women blogers (it appears that women are particularly targeted) but to the wonder that is the blog universe.  Those who oppose such behavior have to take a stand – we’re the activist types anyway or we wouldn’t be writing so publicly.  SO. Andy_carvin_3

Here, from the wonderful, generous Andy Carvin (left) and other sites, are some things we can do:

Join Stop Cyberbullying, a site created by the aforementioned Andy Carvin.

Post on our own blogs and/or post comments on participating blogs – which Andy will include in "Stop Cyberbullying" site

Visit and share existing resources like Cyberbully.org or this parent brochure

Learn more from other sites like this one.

Check out BlogHer co-founder Lisa Stone’s Hating Hate Speech, in which she discusses this issue and offers the BlogHer community guidelines.

Think of something else, do it and post the idea on Stop Cyberbullying.  OH  and remember to tag anything you write about this with the stopcyberbullying tag so it will show up in searches.  Let’s not be silent in the face of this threat to our community.  Thanks, Andy, for giving us a tool to make noise!

HILLARY, THE TONKIN GULF AND 1984

Hilary_video OK, those folks who run TypePad and YouTube haven’t found a way to add this blog host to automatic video posting so I’m hooking a link in right here  so you can watch this.  I can’t decide what I think – it’s funny and clever and a perfect definition of a mashup but it’s also mean and off-mark.  While many, including many feminists, have issues with Senator Clinton – this 1984/Apple Commercial version isn’t representative of most of them.  Accusations of opportunism and flabbiness on the war are not the same as totalitarianism.  True, she voted for the Patriot Act, but so did all but two Senators – and one of them didn’t vote at all! 

Now, I remind myself – we still remember who voted against the Tonkin Gulf Resolution (Senators Wayne Morse of Oregon and Ernest Gruening of Alaska) and that was in 1964 so maybe this vote will last too.  Anyway, I don’t know where I’ll land politically this year – I’m really just thinking about the power of the kinds of media manipulation (in the technical sense) that are possible today.  How will we ever help newer voters figure out how to determine the truth?  Are they so much more evolved than we are in a media sense that we needn’t worry, or is the dismal lack of critical thinking work in current No Child Left Behind education going to affect how people think in the voting booth as well as our educational standing in the world?

Thoughts?

WHAT WOULD BOOK BURNING LOOK LIKE ON THE INTERNET?

Julie_amero If you heard a story of a teacher being prosecuted and facing 40 years in prison for exposing kids to pornography because a porn ad page popped up unsolicited while she was teaching, you’d think it was a joke, right?  Everyone understands about pop-ups, right?  This story seems as absurd as the legendary Senator Ted Stevens’ "tubes" speech.

Well apparently not.  In Connecticut, Julie Amero, a seventh grade substitute teacher, faces 40 years in prison for just such an event.  You can read a longer story about it here, on AlterNet.

Fortunately, she at least has some supporters.  I learned of this story from Kelly at Mocha Momma — a committed and very gifted teacher herself.  She is sending all her readers there for the details.  This site’s proprietor, Karoli, not only provides links to backup information; she’s also donating $1 for every posted comment.  In later posts, she adds still more info – and links. Take a look at them – and maybe even the fund itself.  There’s more information there, too.

It’s a very troubling and scary story – not only for the obvious civil liberties and injustices, but also for what it says about technological expertise among the powerful.  What do you think?

UNKINDEST CUT

Indians2_2 I’m having a very hard time.  For a project, I’ve spent most of Wednesday reading infertility, IVF, adoption and other blogs written by would-be parents who are unable to conceive.  This 25-year old photo is of two boys, my sons, conceived in no time.  Granted there was a miscarriage in between that hit us very hard, but the blessing of these two little boys came rapidly and without incident.

I’m familiar with this issue – I have so many friends with adopted kids — but the articulateness of these women and the agony of repeated technical failures they describe, is unthinkable.  It’s so ironic – years spent in your twenties worrying that you ARE pregnant, then this.

I can’t imagine many experiences more painful — though they existed even in biblical times (remember the pain of Sarah, Hannah and Rachel?) and they’re for a lifetime.  "Do you have kids?" is the classic ice-breaker.  It just reminds me one more time of the blessings in my life.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate my kids every day; as my sons will tell you I’m a bit over the top where they are concerned.  And I’m tiresome on that fact that they’re a blessing and a joy.

What I don’t often consider is the fact that we had them so easily – that they are, quite literally, a gift.  My heart breaks for my sisters not blessed with this privilege – and I won’t soon forget their pain. 

TEEN AGE GIRLS AND CELL PHONE STALKERS!

Scary_phone_call_1 You know all those amused, indulgent stories about teenagers texting and cell phoning at all hours?  And how great they are at multi-tasking?  Well if you believe this piece, running on AlterNet after appearing in the Christian Science Monitor, (and there is no reason not to) there is, as usual, a very very very dark side to this "cute" phenomenon.

Liz Claiborne Inc. teamed up with the National Domestic Violence Hotline and conducted a survey of teen cellphone use.  The survey, conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, reported that "20 to 30 percent of teens who had been in relationships said their partner had constantly checked in on them, had harassed or insulted them, or had made unwanted requests for sexual activity, all via cellphones or text messages. One out of 4 reported hourly contact with a dating partner between midnight and 5 a.m. — in some cases, 30 times per hour. And 1 out of 10 had received physical threats electronically."

Even if half of that is true, it’s scary and sad.  You can just imagine a 14 year old girl, inexperienced in relationships, trying to handle this kind of overbearing behavior.  What I wonder though is WHY?  In an adult relationship we would call this emotional abuse and, often, a prelude to physical abuse.  AND I remember when I worked for a youth TV news program, doing several pieces on boyfriends abusing their teen girlfriends.  But this is so much easier to hide — and is so scarily omnipresent and unpredictable at the same time, that it just shakes you to your core.

There are days when I wonder what it’s going to take to get this man-woman thing right when even the boy-girl part is so often destructive.  And wonder, too, how we help these girls (and I suppose there are boys too) have the confidence to put a stop to it when it happens. Heavy thoughts for a snowy Tuesday.