Author: Cynthia Samuels

JERUSALEM DIARY 2.0 – DAY TWO (CORRECTED): THE SOTAH, THE HEBREW AND THE MEANDERINGS OF THE DAY

Israel_new_delhiIsn’t this funny?  We passed it walking home from dinner tonight and I just thought I’d share it.  We’ve had quite a day, one that I’ve already written about once and then, somehow, allowed the post to be devoured by the ethers of the Internet.  I’m going to try again but far more briefly as it’s getting late.

Mall_guard_with_gun
First, here’s my daily security photo – from outside the coffee shop where we had breakfast.  And yes, this young man is patrolling THE MALL with a machine gun. 

Leahnachmanitova_2After that well-guarded breakfast we went to our first class of this trip at Pardes, a wonderful educational entity that’s tough to describe and even tougher not to love.  Our teacher today, as she was last year, was Tovah Leah Nachmani (she’s on the left.)  She’s an inspired and inspiring teacher and we had a blast discussing the laws of the Sotah (a woman accused of adultery) and, according to the Book of Numbers (Bamidbar), what should happen to her.  You can read it here – beginning with verse 11.  It’s fairly horrifying on first (or second or third) reading but this time we ended up with an unusual perspective. 

Tovah sent us out with our Chevruta (study partner – mine was my husband) to try to figure out what the commentators were asking themselves as they wrote about this passage -and how they answered.  As we did so, a strange perspective emerged.  SEE DAY THREE POST FOR IMPORTANT CORRECTION TO THIS: Basically,it seems that asking a woman accused of adultery to stand before God to be judged (the only time God concerned Himself in this way with the laws of men), to drink water mixed with dirt from the Temple floor and the ashes of the burned paper accusing her, and then to wait to see if her belly swelled up or not (yes was a sign of guilt) seems to subjecte her to something both terrifying and humiliating.  But once past that, even if she was guilty, there was no physical punishment, only a mandated divorce – and her lover was also punished.  SEE DAY THREE POST FOR IMPORTANT CORRECTION TO THIS

There’s more to it though: if his possibly adulterous wife stands before God to be judged, no husband however outraged is going to play God and punish her himself -by killing her ashe could in so many other cultures or even by beating her.  The ordeal in fact protects her from worse.  In addition, it’s clear to all that the preservation of the family was so important that only God could adjudicate when it was so jeopardized.

There’s lots more to it but it’s really late.  Suffice it to say that it was exciting to learn how much more lay behind this disturbing ritual.  Even so, it’s all of a piece.  )Our hair is dangerous, our voices are dangerous, even the potential for adulterous behavior is dangerous.  WE are dangerous.  And it’s not, mostly, for what we might do but for what we might cause to be done that is the big issue.  Granted, the Sotah has to have been formally warned in advance by her husband that she shouldn’t hang around alone with a specific man he suspects of having designs on her – and she can only be tried if she has done just that, but even so, these rules don’t apply equally to husbands. 

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned in the couple of years since I began studying this stuff, however, is that you can’t read it only from the perspective of the present.  The culture of the times is a critical variable in the mission and outcome of divine commandments and their enforcement.  And of what we can allow ourselves to learn as we read.

Enough already.  We also had an amazing walk around the city, bought me an orange hat and had a three hour Hebrew lesson.  But that’s for another day. Goodnight for now… and, as I learned today – erev tov.

JERUSALEM DIARY 2.0 – DAY ONE: LIVING WITH SECURITY -EVERY MINUTE, EVERY DAY

Flowers_and_city_wall_2_9This is the Jerusalem we all love to imagine, and there’s plenty of it that’s just like that.  Usually, that’s where we spend most of our time — biblical Jerusalem.  It’s thrilling.

This time, though, we’re here to study, and for the first time, instead of staying in a hotel, we’re in an apartment in a real neighborhood (Bak’ah for those of you who know it).  We arrived this afternoon after flying from 5 PM Monday DC time through to 2:30 PM Tuesday Jerusalem time.  That’s a total of 14.5 hours with the layover in Frankfurt.  So, exhausted and eager to get to bed, we spent the evening wandering around the neighborhood instead of going immediately to the Old City as we have in the past.

Supermarket_securityWe needed coffee, milk and some other things so we stopped first at the supermarket just blocks from our "house."  But guess what?  Before we could get inside, we were stopped at the door, my bag was searched and we were sort of assessed before entering.  Nicely, matter-of-factly, but for real.  I took this photo of the security guys on the sly, that’s why it’s so blurry.  But there you are.  Need apple juice?  Prepare to have the diaper bag searched.

SaladsRestaurantBags in tow, we went on to dinner at a wonderful grill/salad place.  There are photos of both the salads and the place on the left, but guess what?  Before we could go in we had to check in with the guard at the entrance.  He asked me not to take his picture, but he was there.  Hungry?  Meeting friends for coffee?  Prepare to be checked out not by the cuties at the next table, but by the guard at the door.

Mall_securityWandering around after dinner, we found a sweet coffee place.  Everyone was sitting outside; the traffic was buzzing by beyond the sidewalk, the coffee was great and we were in a great place – living a neighborhood life in another country — one of particular importance to us.  But guess what?  The coffee place is part of a local mall, along with a drugstore and some not-very-expensive (almost cheap) apparel stores.  And guess who were sitting outside the doors, on stools, on the sidewalk?  Yup – security guards.  A quick check of our bags of coffee and bottled water, and of my back pack, and we were good to go.  But there you are.  Going for diapers or hand lotion?  Prepare to be searched at the door.

I’m not writing this to complain.  Today I just felt, in a different way, what it’s like to live here.  Whatever your politics, the idea of a people so under siege that no grocery store or bowling alley or retail mall can exist without security guards checking everyone who enters, is creepy and sad.  I know, I know, a grave portion of our globe is at some kind of risk. And I’d probably react the same way witnessing their struggles.  But this is where I am, this is where I’ve come to study, this is where I look into the eyes of mothers in the baby food aisle and old ladies squeezing tomatoes and crews of students buying up unthinkable quantities of fast food.  And as they move through their lives, relief from their sense of danger, of vulnerability, is possible, sustainable, only until the next time they walk out the front door.  And that’s a hell of a way to live.

How I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT THE IDEA OF A BRIS

Bris_kidsMany of the Jewish kids I know were circumcised but never had a bris  (a ritual circumcision – complete with ceremony and prayers.)  That was true in our family.  I always thought it as barbaric.  I have come to see the ceremony as one of the loveliest in Judaism.  I’ve just come from one for our rabbi’s fifth child.  The  ceremony begins as the families of the new child line up at the door to the shul and pass him along toward the bimah, with all the congregation singing a song of congratulations.  Many family members – aunts, uncles, grandparents and siblings, have a role — blessings to say, children to hold, passages to mark.  Each older sister and brother gets a gift.

There is of course a serious ceremony within the celebration – the honoring of the covenant that God ordered and Abraham honored.   The physical idea of the circumcision is tough – even for deep believers, I think, but it’s interesting that research in sexually transmitted diseases – even AIDS, shows that circumcised men contract and transmit these diseases less frequently.  Of course there’s no hard evidence that there’s a connection but it adds to the considerations about the process itself.

The most important part, to me, is the welcoming of the child into the community  both the broad of those who worship as observant Jews and of the closer extended family that surrounds the synagogue.  There were kids hanging off the railings at the front of the synagogue, family members gathered to the side (that’s the photo), singing, crying and lots of reunions of people from far away who’d come together to celebrate.  The little boy was named for his parent’s cousin who died, at 23, of Muscular Dystrophy.  As the Rabbi spoke about him, he struggled not to weep – the combination of joy at the safe arrival of his son and memory of the loss of the man whose name this child now bears – were almost overwhelming.  Many of us felt it too. 

It’s taken me quite a journey to come to comprehension of it all and I’m sure I haven’t made it clear enough to you – but I guess the bottom line is that the combination of faith, joy, timeless ritual, love and friendship is a powerful  gift — tough to learn to accept but, ultimately, something to treasure.

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH AND OUR FUTURE

ImagesOK.  So I’m way behind a lot of people – including the Oscars voters, in finally seeing Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth. It’s a horrifying presentation, scary and fascinating.  As a video producer I’m knocked out by the craft that makes such a dry topic so interesting.  As some one who’s always been politically involved, I’m mortified that this film still needs to exist and bewildered that I haven’t been more drawn into this issue.  It sounds crazy, but I’ve always been so obsessed with human rights and civil rights, education and integration, war peace and poverty, that I kind of left all this to someone else. 

You can’t watch this film, though, and remain untouched.  A friend says that the research is too new, that other "natural" phenomena come in cycles and that we haven’t had time to be certain that this is not just part of the next one.  I respect this woman enormously but I watched this film, thinking of her, and of the power of modern technology compared to the "natural" impact that generated previous cycles and I can’t make myself believe that this isn’t an emergency.

I read a lot of science fiction, and much of it is dark and apocalyptic.  Resource wars, water wars, data wars — it is the future that causes the pain.  But it’s also the future that’s made by us – and if even half of this film is true, we are permitting what appears to be a horrific future to emerge, despite our ability to prevent it.  I’ve followed Al Gore a long time.  I remember his honorable environmental advocacy all the way back to his days in the House.  He’s for real, using his position in the world to turn this huge air craft carrier of an issue around.  In his film, he uses the history of the smoking issue (More Doctors Smoke Camels ads that ran just after the first Surgeon General’s Report) ont he dangers of snoking, to prove that we can change minds. 

He’s won the Nobel Peace Prize for his commitment and impact.  Some say the Nobel committee is just poliical and that this is a lefty-gesture.  But I say hats off.  Where else do we have political leaders consistently leading on an issue that has no personal reward, where the only "up side" is that we might stop cooking our planet?  I haven’t seen any latery. 

FALL INTO THE GAP? ARE THOSE CUTE CLOTHES REALLY MADE BY ENSLAVED KIDS?

Gapsweatshop
I am still trying to get my mind around these child labor stories surrounding the Gap.  I understand about globalization and outsourcing or whatever we’re calling it now, but, for heaven’s sake, the Gap isn’t even CHEAP!  What kind of markup is involved here?  I also understand that the Gap says they didn’t know about the conditions these kids were facing, but with all the use of cheap labor in the developing world factories it seems to me extra vigilance is required- on the part of retailers AND consumers (that’s us.)

There are good arguments on both sides of the concept of paying less in countries where the whole economy requires less, but these children, if reports are to be believed, were all but completely enslaved. Slaves!  There’s no economic relativism that’s going to justify that.  Or any other ism.

Audrey_hepburn_gap_3
Somehow it’s worse when it’s the Gap — of the cool clothes and commercials.  And horribly ironic that they, who made such a splash with commercials by the late, wonderful UN child advocate Audrey Hepburn, are whether mindfully or just carelessly, part of what seems to be something that violates everything she (and we hope, most of us) stands for.  At some point we are going to have to decide how much we’re willing to compromise.  These stores have democratized taste and style but it may be that the tools to do that are, themselves, the most expensive thing of all.

WELCOME TO NABLOPOMO! HOW I SOLVED THE SABBATH PROBLEM

Sabbath_candles_2This is a very exciting undertaking – a blog post a day for thirty days!  A little scary, but exciting.  For me though, it offered an extra challenge, one that forced me to drop out last year.  I can’t work on the Sabbath.  Every Saturday I observe Orthodox rules about the kindling of light, whether it be a spark plug in a car, a doorbell or a reading lamp.  God told us to rest, and every Sabbath we pray the He be "please with our rest."  It’s a pretty big thing.  And it’s lovely; beginning with the lighting of Sabbath candles on Friday night and then a festive dinner.  I’ve come to love the peace of it even though before we began our observant life I thought it was nuts.  It was a great lesson in not prejudging.  Ever.

So of course, there was no way that I could post on Saturdays.  I can’t use the computer.  Fortunately, technology solved the problem.  I figured out that if it’s ok to use timers for the dining room lights (it is) then I could set a timer for my post.  I’m writing each Saturday post in advance and setting it to be posted on Saturday morning.  And I’ll be in Israel for almost half the month so this will also be a great diar.  I’m looking forward to this.

MASH NOTE TO MOM-101 – YET ANOTHER PERFECT POST

Liz_1_3
The woman in the picture just posted one of the loveliest meditations on family I’ve read.  Since I write them frequently, I’m almost envious, but since it’s Liz that’s not possible.  Read it.  I promise my next post will NOT be about somebody else’s post.  This was just too good to keep quiet about.

IF YOU CARE ABOUT EDUCATION – OR THE FUTURE – OR TECHNOLOGY – WATCH THIS

This link arrived from someone I deeply respect as a person and an educator.  Remember that it was made by current college students.  What do we think?

HOW OLD ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A ELDER?

Elderly_ladyWe live in a community where many of our closest friends are well under 40 – several the ages of our sons.  Because we are culturally united, age isn’t such a big deal, which is strange.  I’ve always identified very strongly as a Baby Boomer.  Born in the first year of the cohort, I cherish the experiences and adventures and acknowledge the shared rages and disappointments that bind us.  Even so, I’m struggling with my place. 

There’s a group of bloggers led by Ronni Bennett, a wonderful writer and observer, through her blog Time Goes By – and she’s working to build a community she terms "Elder Bloggers."

I hate it.  Hate it.  I admire Ronni; I’ve always been OK with where I stand in age and presence but this is tough.  I can’t decide if I’m being immature and clinging to a world I don’t belong in or I just don’t have the same sensibility.  I moved online in the early 90s, I read science fiction and love Harry Potter; I listen to all kinds of music; I cherish every experience.  When my kids were little I often felt I had more in common with their teenage babysitters than with the parents of many of their friends.

It’s not that I deny my age — or my friends who are peers.  Or my responsibilities.  I’ve had a successful career raised great, honorable and capable kids.  It’s that I cherish the energy, openness and curiosity of those whose lives are more ahead of them than behind.  I remember maybe 20 years ago when a friend of mine was about to take her youngest son to college. Eyes welling up, she said something over lunch that day that still haunts me.  "It used to be that everything in my life was about beginnings, now it seems that most of it is about endings."  It was a devastating moment.  I swore I would never feel like that.

It’s no battle really.  It’s my nature to be curious — I have a short attention span and, as my blog header says, "There’s always more."  Remaining open is easy.  Realizing that it’s sometimes time to surrender some options is harder — even, or maybe especially, stupid ones like clothes.  I have a "style."  It took years to develop – not on purpose just by trial and error.  Often, I was in the fashion moment.  I went through the 80s in leggings and tunics and arm-loads of black rubber bracelets.  Oh and Reebok high-tops and thick saggy socks.  And that was at work!

One day though, you begin looking at those cool of-the-moment clothes with the thought "I wish I were young enough to wear those" instead of "wow how much is that one?"  It’s never said out loud (or at least not by anyone you’d listen to) – you just kind of know it.   A friend of mine with daughters says it happens to moms with girls much earlier because, as she put it "you don’t want to look like you’re competing.")  I, however, resisted as long as I could, then surrendered (except for jewelry and shoes, of course.)

Music too.  I was in the loop until hip hop, then got shoved pretty far into the margins.  My kids send me music now – from Great Big Sea to Jack Johnson to Green Day and I’m grateful. But these days I don’t even know who many of the Top Ten folks are  — and don’t care. 

That doesn’t make me an elder though.  Or a grown-up.  Just a responsible adult, defined by nature and interests, not age.  So Ronni – I’m with you with great admiration as you bring all of us together and continue to build the world’s coolest Boomer+ blogroll.  But the title — the title —  not for me my girl.  At least……..not yet.