WHAT $600 WILL BUY IN MANHATTAN –OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND [STILL] LOVE NEW YORK

Room2This is our room at the W Hotel on Lexington Avenue across the street from the Waldorf.  It’s a trendy place with dark hallways (trendy), leaning mirrors at the elevators (trendy), a lobby all silver and white and wood, including a huge bowl of silver Christmas Tree balls and another of silver Hershey’s Kisses.  Our room is literally no bigger than this.  And the bathroom… well, look.

Bathroom1_2
This is it.  All of it.  We lived in Manhattan for 20 years so I know from New York prices and this post isn’t really about the $600 (!!!!) room.  It’s just that this is ALL you get for $600.  This event is across the street and our hosts put us here.  I’m not ungrateful; in fact, it was lovely of them to place us right there.  I’m just stunned, even after all my years both of New York living and heavy-duty traveling that this is what things cost.  Plain, old, mediocre to not-so-great things like this room.

Purchases1 THIS is what I bought in ONE DAY of getting ready for the dinner I went to tonight.  Enough makeup and hair products and hair styling/cutting/coloring to (almost) pay for this room.  It will last a very long time but I’m crazed with guilt.  Oh well.  I’m trying not to surrender to all the "I don’t need that" stuff when it’s things I want and actually might need (at least a little bit) and doesn’t cost as much as a laptop or a car.

Cheap_trick_wide_3
This is where we were – a benefit dinner.  This is Cheap Trick performing Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Everyone dancing in the aisles and me vacillating between loving it and feeling weird at people channeling Beatles wonders, but not the Beatles.  Should they?  Was it irreverant to the point of sin?  I don’t know, but it sure was fun. 

There’s lots more and I should tell you about it but I’m tired and we have to get up early to get the train home.  I will say that seeing 50 or so cancer survivors up on the stage singing "Good Day Sunshine" was pretty moving.  Goodnight for now.

EVERYBODY LOVES A CARNIVAL – BLOG OR OTHERWISE (BLOG CARNIVAL #49)

I’m now part of this week’s Boomer Blog Carnival – my first.  I was invited by the indomitable Wendy Spiegel of GenPlus; it’s a way to get to know new bloggers and enjoy the work of others we might not remember to check often enough.  The entries are fun and varied.  I’m privileged to be a member.  Stop by – you’ll enjoy it.

 

PREVENTING SPOUSAL ABUSE; HONORING THOSE WHO HELP

Nat_aliza_officeSometimes a common event can remind you of the wonderful ways that others find to live their lives and help others.  Tonight we went to a benefit for a group that helps Jewish women trapped in abusive relationships; it’s call the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse.  We went because a good friend chairs the group, but also because they were honoring a remarkable pair of lawyers: Nathaniel "Nat" Lewin  and his daughter Alyza Lewin .  Together they are the law firm of Lewin & Lewin LLP . This article in Jewish Week Magazine describes them beautifully.

Nat_aliza_two_shot2
Nat has an impressive history; it was kind of thrilling to see him honored and hear him speak so beautifully and lovingly of his lawyer daughter, his photographer daughter, his wife and grandkids, then to hear Alyza thank her parents, her husband, her sister, her kids and her nanny, all of whom were there. 

She described her memory of having "the talk" with her mom early in her adolescence — not "the talk" talk – but one at least as important.  Her mother, she said, told her to be economically self-sufficient, AND to never let her work keep her from getting married and having children, Then, she continued, half joking, her mother said "These two things, they conflict.  So now maybe it will be easier because I told you."  Everyone laughed, mostly with recognition.  We all know that clash and live with it.   

Most moms have a connection with their kids, begun physically of course, before birth that continues in a way that makes leaving them to go to work tough.  We were probably hard-wired that way.  When I saw this mother of four describing her mother’s warning and her subsequent efforts to be mother and powerhouse attorney, I thought about so many women — those law school pioneers terrorized in class and shut out of study groups, med students thrown out of operating rooms because they were too germy to be there without pantyhose (true story), women reporters shut out of the Radio TV Correspondent’s dinner unless they came as "hostesses."  We’ve all come a long way, and clearly Alyza Lewin, through her work, with her dad, on Jewish issues, is using the progress we made to help others.  As Jewish Week wrote:  "That’s meant
everything from representing apartment tenants whose landlords won’t
allow them to hang a mezuzah, to assisting government employees having
trouble getting their security clearances renewed because of family
ties to Israel, to helping rabbis ensure menorot can be displayed on
public property during Chanukah." 

She comes by it naturally.  Her dad, when he spoke, didn’t say much about his track record as an attorney – he didn’t need to.  Again, the profile;

Combining his time as an assistant to the
solicitor general and private practice, he’s argued 27 cases in front of the
Supreme Court. And his daughter notes that there is no legal issue relating to
the Jewish community that doesn’t have his "fingerprints" on it. ..
he drafted the provision of the Civil Rights Act that protects one’s religious
observance or practice. Later in the decade, he wrote legislation that allowed
federal workers to work "compensatory time" if they wanted to get
time off to observe religious holidays. … Lewin is still trying to create further protection for religious liberty.  The firm has taken up the case, on appeal,  of a Jewish parole officer in New York whose employer pressured him not to observe religious holidays by scheduling
mandatory meetings and training sessions on those dates. They are arguing that
the plaintiff faced a "hostile work environment"
similar to the kind of environment considered actionable for sexual harassment and
that the courts should recognize such a standard for religious practice.

Before forming Lewin and Lewin, Nathan Lewin was
a founding partner at Miller, Cassidy, Larocca & Lewin. Among his most
well-known clients was Ed Meese, when the Reagan administration attorney
general was the subject of an independent counsel investigation over charges of
influence peddling. …

U.S.dLewin also was actress Jodie Foster’s lawyer
when she testified during the trial of John Hinckley for the shooting of
President Ronald Reagan. In 1975, Lewin represented John Lennon on an appeal of
a US   decision to deport
him because of his previous conviction on drug possession charges in Great Britain.
Lewin said he never met the Beatle, having been recruited to handle the appeal
through Lennon’s lawyer. And he joked that he probably shouldn’t have cashed
the check Lennon sent him to pay for his services because the
autograph on it probably ended up being more valuable.

The Lewins currently …are working on a number of
other Jewish-related cases, such as the Boim case, in which, on behalf of a
victim of a Hamas terrorist attack in Israel, they successfully sued the Holy Land Foundation and two other U.S. charities for providing funding to the terrorist organization.  They are waiting for the results of an appeal but the legal theory they devleloped has been adopted by a number of other terror victims since.

So.  They deserved the honor.  The issue is horrifying – the "Jews don’t do that sort of thing" myth decimated – like the lives of so many of the women JACADA works to help.  The biggest reward for me though was to listen to this accomplished, unassuming and loving daughter tell her story and speak with such colleagial regard for her father.  It’s how things should be.  And so seldom are.
 

 

SNOW — TOTO WE AREN’T IN LA ANY MORE!

Autumn_2007_2
Last week I took you to see this tree outside my office.  It was just lovely.  Then I went to LA and, as this storm was preparing to arrive, worked outside by the pool all afternoon.  Never have I been so aware of the good side of the left coast – where I lived so unhappily but have come to appreciate.

 
Snow_1107_road_2Back home tonight, which is Wednesday, it looks like this.  I seem to be on a real tear about seasons and changes.  I left a fiery display of falling leaves and returned just in time to welcome the magical silence that is my favorite part of an all-day snowfall.

I’m posting this on Friday, just before Shabbat.  Ending the week.
Thanking God.  Wishing I knew an angel named Earl. Remembering snowy
night time walks down Broadway with my kids.  And snow days.  And ski
lifts.

And back again to that old circle thing.  There isn’t much in life that doesn’t come in cycles, and if you observe the Sabbath, it begins at 4:30 in the depth of winter and 9:30 at the height of summer.  Jewish holidays too are built around harvest and planting, the moon and its cycles; it’s far more connected to the earth and its processes than I ever understood until we began living this observant life.  I wonder sometimes if, given my pleasure in the cycles and their passage, that pleasure isn’t yet another reason we ended up here.

Shabbat Shalom.

WAY BEFORE HER TIME- IN A HAT! REMEMBERING BELLA ABZUG

Bella_life_mag_3
She was way before her time — way before.  Loud, brash, confident, and always in a hat (even on the House floor), born in 1920 and elected to Congress in 1970, Bella Abzug was a force of nature who, early in her career, ignored serious threats on her life to defend Willie McGee, a Mississippi black man convicted of raping a white woman.  Although very pregnant at the time, she went to Mississippi to argue his case and face the cruel segregation machine that was the Jim Crow South.

Later, she represented many of those attacked by Senator Joe McCarthy in the 50’s and became one of the leaders of the anti-Vietnam War movement – and an enduring symbol of the struggle to gain the kinds of rights women enjoy today.  There was so much to her – and most of it was apparent in the force of her presence, and her impact on others.

Bella_book_cover_Now two of her long-time colleagues, admirers, friends and founding editors at Ms. Magazine have compiled an exciting and inspiring oral history.

To many of those who read this blog Bella is a seeming anachronism.  There’s no way to recall the desperation of those times not only because of the war but also because of the growing frustration of women trying to find an equal place in the world.  Bella broke down barriers, put the fear of God into politicians (and her staff and many of her admirers) with her fierce commitment and energy, and was a funny, loving person between battles – and this book brings all that to life.

So take a look at this engrossing story.  If you have a young woman friend who doesn’t know what came before there was an all-girl sweep of high school science awards (much less any girls competing at all), or women running the New York Times, or women so commonly in authority that their roles on TV are not “first” or “woman fill-in-the-blank” but simply jobs — chief residents like Miranda Bailey or hospital directors like Lisa Cuddy or even really bad bad guys like Angela Petrelli  share it with her this holiday – or for her birthday – or when she graduates.  And remind her of this:

When you get your meds from a woman pharmacist or get a ticket from a woman cop or have your plane waved to the gate by a woman airport worker — remember that they, and we, stand on the shoulders of this remarkable woman.  Take a look at her story (the book is called – Bella Abzug: How One Tough Broad from the Bronx Fought
Jim Crow and Joe McCarthy, Pissed Off Jimmy Carter, Battled for the
Rights of Women and Workers, … Planet, and Shook Up Politics Along
the Way
— then decide what you’re going to do to take us to the next landmark.

I LOVE LA — NO, REALLY

Mosaic_wide_pool
I’m sitting right here – next to the pool, at the Mosaic Hotel  in Beverly Hills, where we’ve been coming for years.  What a treat to be writing outside in December.  The whole time I lived here I complained – about the lack of "intellectual rigor", about the meanness of Hollywood (which, by the way, makes Washington politicians look like amateurs), about the lack of autumn foliage, about the spoiled kids and on and on.  I guess I still think a lot of those things, but when we drive in from the airport, passing all the pastel buildings, the sun shining, the air balmy and gentle – I remember the good things.  Maybe our East Coast weather builds character and a grounding in reality but this really is lovely.  At least for visiting.

It’s also different to come to LA as an observant Jew.   Orthodox Jews are a parallel universe – something like Harry Potter compared to the Muggles.  It’s a culture with, by necessity, many of its own institutions, the strengths of which are  determined largely by the size of the community.  LA has lots of observant and formally Orthodox Jews so there’s a spectrum of services — and standards.  Yeshiva girls in sweatshirts and leggings, every kind of kosher restaurant, schools, and of course, shuls.  Here’s little bit of what we’ve seen in the couple of hours we’ve been here on this trip.

Bnai_david This is B’nai David Judea, a modern Orthodox congregation on Pico near Robertson, in the heart of the Orthodox community.  We’ve been to services there a couple of times on Shabbat – it’s a lovely community and a beautiful sanctuary – and the congregation is young, hip, and in many cases, Hollywood.

Kosher_market
Just a block away there are several kosher groceries and delis.  Here’s one.

The_guys_at_jeffs_2
And these guys – they’re the backbone of Jeff’s Gourmet Kosher sausage.  We’re taking lots home to our friends – there’s nothing like it near us.

Subway_wide_cropped_2
And this — this is a real, live, kosher Subway!  Not too shabby.

There’s more to LA than the stereotypes that were our reality when we lived here.  Lots that’s nice.  Sadly, the  ugliness and banality  conceals much of it;  only after a long absence (and  perhaps the added perspective of a religious community) that I, at least, have been able to see both sides.  So bring it on Randy Newman — it’s a great song.

 

LAST OF THE LEAVES, LAST OF NABLOPOMO, HARRY CHAPIN AND LIFE

Autumn_2007I can see this out my office window.  In a couple of months it will be silvery with snow.  Months after that, long after these last end-of-autumn  leaves have fallen, new ones will bud in their place, and there will be a riot of color once again  — this time with blossoms.

I titled a post a few months ago "ALL MY LIFE’S A CIRCLE, SUNRISE TO SUNDOWN" as I wrote about a beautiful Bar Mitzvah.  For some reason, I’m feeling that way today.  Listen to Harry Chapin’s wonderful words:
All my life’s a circle
Sunrise and sundown
Moon rolls through the night time
Till daybreak comes around
All my life’s a circle
Still I wonder why
Season spinning ’round again
Years keep rolling by.

Seems like I’ve been here before
Can’t remember when
I got this funny feeling
We’ll all be together again
No straight lines make up my life
All my roads have bends
No clear cut beginnings
So far no dead ends.
CHORUS
I’ve met you a thousand times
I guess you’ve done the same
Then we lose each other
It’s like a children’s game
But now I find you here again
The thought comes to my mind
Our love is like a circle
Let’s go ’round one more time.

All my life’s a circle
Sunrise and sundown
Moon rolls through the night time
Till daybreak comes around
All my life’s a circle
Still I wonder why
Season spinning ’round again
Years keep rolling by.

Beautiful, no?  Tomorrow it will be December – NABLOPOMO will be over for another year and the year itself as fast approaching its final days.  We’ve been through health scares and crises, major adventures and small pleasures, moving and rewarding family time and some times not so great.  So I guess that’s why I’m kind of weepy, having loved the release of daily writing and aware of how fragile is life — and love — and laughter, ready to "go ’round one more time."

Here’s the song:


Have a good weekend.

NABLOPOMO GRADUATION DAY MINUS ONE

I_heart_bloggersSo here’s what I know so far:

  1. Everyone loves COSTCO.  Yesterday’s post garnered a ton of traffic; I was frankly amazed.  Of all the things I’ve written about, from Vietnam to Jewish funerals to East Berlin to my kids to Bruce Springsteen, this is the one that hit something.  Not sure what but it’s kind of interesting, no?
  2. Writing every day is definitely good for you.  Hard, but good. 
  3. As I’ve continued to write, I’ve discovered both a capacity to be honest and a certainty that there are things I will never write about.  Those things belong to others, people I love to whom they happened.  They belong to them.
  4. When you’re writing but you’re beyond tired, you should wrap up your document and go to bed.  Which is what I’m going to do now.  Tomorrow we’ll celebrate graduation day together.  G’nite

ODE TO COSTCO AND ITS FANS

Costco
Costco
seems to be everyone’s darling.  Of course, it’s been my darling for years.   It’s got great stuff, great prices, great staff, even wonderful employee policies. But in the past week I’ve read two very loving profiles of the biggest of the big box stores in publications ranging from State of Grace — the blog of the remarkable Grace Davis, to the Sunday New York Times.

There are lots of reasons for this I think.  Of course there are the usual ones: excellent quality, bulk discounts on staples like paper towels, excellent store brand tee shirts (say some of the men in my life), remarkable produce, and pretty good everything else.

It’s also fun. At the ones around Washington DC, and the ones we used to go to in LA, I always feel like I’m at the UN.  Once, during the women’s World Cup, we walked in to find, gathered around the television section, an enthusiastic crowd that looked as if they were from every country in the world.  Mexico, the Philippines, India, Japan — just everywhere – all cheering together.  It’s always like that.  Big families, couples, singles, mom and pop restaurateurs, hipsters, geeks — everyone.  Even Douglas Coupland.  In my favorite of his books, Microserfs, he writes "my universe consists of home, Microsoft, and Costco." 

Simpsons It’s also home to one of my favorite Simpsons scenes ever:  the family almost drowned when they ran into and broke all the giant bottles of cranberry juice in  an aisle display and an ocean of juice flooded the store.

OH and I forgot books.  Best sellers, cook books, thrillers – if they’ve got something you want, they’ve got it for less than anywhere else.

So carry on oh noble vendor — serving us well and offering us entertaining distractions (if you can park) on Sunday afternoons.  We knew you even before the New York Times.  But before that?  What did we ever do without you?