{"id":1340,"date":"2009-03-06T12:47:01","date_gmt":"2009-03-06T12:47:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/06\/when-i-first-got-involved-in-observant-judaism-i-was-appalled-at-a-lot-of-what-i-saw-without-any-background-or-knowledge\/"},"modified":"2016-02-11T10:40:36","modified_gmt":"2016-02-11T17:40:36","slug":"when-i-first-got-involved-in-observant-judaism-i-was-appalled-at-a-lot-of-what-i-saw-without-any-background-or-knowledge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/06\/when-i-first-got-involved-in-observant-judaism-i-was-appalled-at-a-lot-of-what-i-saw-without-any-background-or-knowledge\/","title":{"rendered":"Another Landmark in Jewish Life, Another Lesson Learned"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Getting<\/a>
\nWhen I first got involved in observant Judaism, I was appalled at a lot of what I saw.\u00a0 Without any background or knowledge I was ready to condemn rules from keeping kosher<\/a> to circumcision<\/a> to the bedecken<\/a> in a marriage ceremony to Jewish education.<\/p>\n

I’ve changed my mind about many things (though not all) but more important than any single issue is the larger lesson of this lengthy and complicated transition: you can’t judge anything until you really understand it.\u00a0 It’s so easy to laugh off a traditional life, modest clothing, 613 commandments (and I still struggle with many of them and remain, I know, ignorant of many others.)\u00a0 But as each rule and ritual is placed into context, its importance emerges, if you let it.\u00a0 Not for everything, certainly, but for more of this somewhat exotic existence than I ever expected.<\/p>\n

Last night I went with friends to celebrate their son’s receipt of his first siddur – prayerbook.\u00a0 It is a remarkable event.\u00a0 In advance, parents come to school and decorate the books’ cover; the kids wear crowns with prayers on top, there’s a long performance full of the child’s version of many of the traditions and they dance and sing and tell us what they will contribute to the future.\u00a0 Parents and siblings and sleeping infants and grandparents are gathered to watch, in a balloon-decorated room with cupcakes and apple juice waiting in the back.<\/p>\n

Of course, all this is a kind of indoctrination.\u00a0 But what I’ve realized is that I think any child rearing of merit imparts values as this ceremony does.\u00a0 In this case, the gift of prayer is celebrated, and being old enough to become, at least a bit, master of one’s own prayers is pretty cosmic.\u00a0 Most Orthodox ceremonies I’ve been part of celebrate this gift and the journey of our emerging relationships with God, each in our own way.<\/p>\n

But as I remember taking my kids to marches, and boycotting Nestle, and raising them on Pete Seeger<\/a> and the Weavers<\/a> and politics all the time, well – that was a form of indoctrination too.\u00a0 And we were determined that they would receive the values that we thought most important, and be raised with a keen sense of right and wrong in political as well as personal terms.\u00a0 Now, of course, they’ve modified all that to suit themselves, as they should.\u00a0 But they had a set of values to push up against, as their father used to say.\u00a0 Instead of prayers, the signs in their school said “Each one, teach one” and every kid had a task to contribute to the community.\u00a0 Not so different, just not Godly.<\/p>\n

I know that we are a secular nation, and that many American Jews live highly secular lives.\u00a0 I did too.\u00a0 But somehow, we found<\/a> our<\/a> way<\/a> here<\/a>.\u00a0 Tonight I’ll light Sabbath Candles<\/a> and feel the quiet peace that comes with them.\u00a0 And I’ll be grateful not only for that but for the grace and love of the parents who invited me to share in their son’s celebration, and who have so often provoked me to think harder and struggle more to understand this life I’ve chosen.\u00a0 And have taught both of us so much.\u00a0 Believe me, I’m at least as surprised as you are by my reactions, but as long as that continues, I know I’m keeping faith with the name of this blog, along with the larger faith I seek.<\/p>\n

Shabbat Shalom.<\/p>\n


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