{"id":1223,"date":"2010-03-07T13:15:36","date_gmt":"2010-03-07T13:15:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/07\/on-the-arrival-of-a-first-child-thirtyfive-years-ago\/"},"modified":"2014-03-15T20:30:58","modified_gmt":"2014-03-15T20:30:58","slug":"on-the-arrival-of-a-first-child-thirtyfive-years-ago","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/07\/on-the-arrival-of-a-first-child-thirtyfive-years-ago\/","title":{"rendered":"On the Arrival of a First Child: Thirty-five Years Ago"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dan<\/a><\/p>\n

\nTwo years ago I wrote this piece to honor the pending birth of a friend’s child. \u00a0It’s about the first days after the birth of a first child. Yesterday marked the 35th anniversary of that birth – so, one more time, here’s the memory – with gratitude and love.<\/p>\n

\nWhat an emotional shock it has been to write this.\u00a0 I need to start with that; the feelings, years later, are still there.<\/p>\n

\nWhat an emotional shock it has been to write this.\u00a0 I need to start with that; the feelings, years later, are still there. Since this baby shower is for one of my favorite bloggers, and
\nfriends,\u00a0I’m grateful to be part of it.\u00a0 Our task is to share those lovely early
\nmoments with our brand new children.\u00a0 That’s why I’ve added this – which
\nmay be the most perfect photo I own because it says just what we all know.
\nThe connection of a mother and newborn is so complete that it’s almost
\nimpossible – even with writers as remarkable as this community — to describe.
\nAt least I can’t find words that say what I know this photo says.<\/p>\n

\nThis is actually my second son, very soon after he arrived.
\nHe’s 28 now and more extraordinary than even I, proud mama, could have imagined
\nthat cold November day in Roosevelt hospital in 1979.\u00a0 He and his brother
\nboth started off with beautiful souls though.\u00a0 They are beautiful still.<\/p>\n

\nWhen I think of those early days, it isn’t all the getting up at
\nnight (although it could be) and it isn’t that I had so much trouble nursing
\nthat I needed to supplement (although it could be) and it isn’t the absolutely
\nperfect terror that I might do them harm that accompanied the first days of
\ntheir lives (although it certainly, indubitably could be.)<\/p>\n

\nNope.\u00a0 Here’s what I remember, and what I wish for the two
\nof you and all you other moms and moms-in-waiting:\u00a0 it’s a cold winter
\nnight, maybe after about a week as the new parent of son number 1.\u00a0 It’s
\ndark, but out the window you can see the boats going up and down the Hudson
\nRiver (even though our windows leak so there’s ice on our windows, on the
\ninside.)\u00a0 You hear a cry and struggle out of bed, grab a robe, go retrieve
\nthis new little person from his crib, change him and move with him to the
\nbentwood rocking chair (of course there’s a rocking chair) facing the window.
\nAnd you hold him in your arms and you feed him.\u00a0 The dark envelops you,
\nthe dim skyline across the river in New Jersey is the only light you have,
\nexcept for the tiny pinpoints of light on the tug boats and barges as they make
\ntheir way.\u00a0 And it’s silent.\u00a0 Not a sound.\u00a0 And, with this new
\nlife in your arms, you rock gently back and forth.\u00a0 The gift of peace of
\nthose nights in the rocker was so intense that as I write this, I can feel it.
\nIf I let myself, I could cry.<\/p>\n

\nI remember watching my mother with each infant – can still see
\nher face as she responded to them,\u00a0 thinking to myself then “Oh.
\nThis must be the way she was with me.\u00a0 How beautiful.\u00a0 How
\nbeautiful.”<\/p>\n

\nAnd I remember this.\u00a0 My parents came to us very soon after
\nour first son was born, helped put the crib together, celebrated with us.
\nLate one night, as I stood with our baby in my arms, my dad walked into the
\nroom. Looking at the two of us, in perfect peace, he said to me\u00a0 “NOW
\ndo you understand?”\u00a0 Of course I did.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two years ago I wrote this piece to honor the pending birth of a friend’s child. \u00a0It’s about the first days after the birth of a first child. Yesterday marked the 35th anniversary of that birth – so, one more time, here’s the memory – with gratitude and love. What an emotional shock it has … Continue reading On the Arrival of a First Child: Thirty-five Years Ago<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,4,42,7,29],"tags":[203,206,207,208,3417,209,3414,204,210,211,212,213,205,214,3418,44],"class_list":["post-1223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","category-baby-boom","category-family","category-life","category-women","tag-35th-birthday","tag-babies","tag-baby","tag-baby-shower","tag-family","tag-infant","tag-life","tag-mother","tag-motherhood-uncensored","tag-new-mother","tag-new-parent","tag-newborn","tag-parent","tag-shower","tag-weblogs","tag-women-2"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4gBq8-jJ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1223"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1223\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1894,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1223\/revisions\/1894"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiasamuels.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}