Mom to Mom: “Is There a Gun in Your Home?” #playdates2015

 

shooting question edited

Guns in other people’s houses: here’s what one mom wrote last spring in the Washington Post, that emerged again on Facebook after the Oregon school shooting.

The other mom might say, “Can Chloe come over here tomorrow to play with Maddie?” I would ask, “Do you keep guns in your house?”….I’m not quite sure what compelled me to ask about guns when my children were small. I just added it to the litany of things I would tell parents – we have a dog, we have a pool that’s fenced, we don’t keep guns. It seemed that if a parent told me about their child’s food allergy, I could and should ask if they kept guns.

When my older son was in kindergarten, he used to visit his friend Michael.  One day he came home and announced that Michael’s father had a gun – he had seen it.   Thirty-five years ago that was a shock, especially on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.  We decided all playdates with Michael would move to our house and explained to his parents, who weren’t particularly troubled by our decision.  But it’s not easy.

It’s in our nature to be polite, civil to another parent, especially when their children like each other, but even I, the pathological people pleaser, couldn’t do otherwise.

As I watch what is unfolding in our country now, recalling the frightening relief that we learned about The Gun before anything happened, and reading on Facebook how many of our younger friends’ kids have lockdown drills even in 1st and 2nd grade, it’s tough not to feel sad — and angry.

There are more than enough words written about this already, but as we experience the continuing epidemic of tragedy and our national unwillingness to confront the issue, and I see my oldest grandson almost the age at which our son first faced this, I just wonder if our country has any will left to improve anything – even the safety of our children.

WINE, WOMEN AND PLAY DATES (Yeah I’m late on this)

Wine_and_playdates I must have been one of the last people on the planet to hear about this ruckus — a profile of mothers together at the swing set, pushing the kids with glasses of wine in hand.  As I read in Her Bad Mother, the story appeared on my old alma mater THE TODAY SHOW, where I worked for nine proud and happy years.  I don’t know whether I’m more upset with the content of the story, the reaction or the fact that TODAY is, generally, so much less substantial than it was when I worked there.  ADD THIS: I just read most of the back story to all this at the source:  Melissa Summers’ Suburban Bliss.  If even part of it is true (and I have no reason to doubt any of it) then it’s far more a scandal about television than it is about drinking and moms.  PLEASE READ THIS.  It also includes links to many comments on the matter.

As I said before I read Melissa’s very troubling post, "This story looked unbalanced to me – at least the video did, so I was glad to learn from Jenn Satterwhite’s Mommy Bloggers post that TODAY is planning a follow-up on Friday."  In the mean time take a look at what Catherine (Her Bad Mother) and others (Google Blog Search turned up dozens of posts) have had to say about this.  I want to watch the follow-up before I say anything.  I lived around bad alcohol issues at one point in my life and am very sensitive to the issue so am remaining silent for now.

PLEASE COMMENT though if you have thoughts about this.