Tag: Orthodox Judaism

Chuppas, Kallahs and Spiderman

Chuppa_3_smToday I went to a wedding – the first in the new building donated to the Ronald S. Lauder Foundation for its work helping to rebuild Berlin’s Jewish community. This is the bride (Kallah) and groom. Here are a couple more:

Groombride_1_bedeken_smallThe bedeken – where the groom lowers the veil over his wife-to-be’s face in recognition of the ploy that led to Jacob’s marriage to Leah when he thought he was marrying his beloved Rachel —

Dancing_2_smMen dancing in celebration.

This was the first Orthodox wedding I’ve ever attended – and since almost everyone was from someplace in Eastern Europe- especially Russia, – it had an exotic flavor anyway. I have lots to say about it but I wanted to post the photos now because I have to think a bit about how to describe the intense feelings it evoked.

Toby_spider_2Strangely – we decided this evening to go see SPIDER-MAN 3 in German, since it wasn’t playing in English except way downtown. It was just such an interesting contrast – a quiet reverence and sense of something sacred at the wedding, and brash, crashing violence and special effects at the movies. I speak almost no German yet only had to ask Rick what was happening maybe 2-3 times since almost none of the exposition was verbal. It does make you wonder how to understand one’s modern self as respect for old, old traditions grows with understanding.

Ferris
I’m grateful for days like today, when my life lives up to the title of this blog — never gel. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Another, more attractive (at least to me) movie hero said that….

IS THIS KOSHER?

WARNING:  WHINING (completely without merit, I might add):

Kosher_ou_1 We were in Orlando all weekend at an advocacy training.  It was my husband's journey  and I went along for the ride.  He had asked for kosher meals – it had worked fine on our last trip — but these were some of the worst food I have ever eaten.   To the point where I was actively angry – angry! that this had become part of my life.  They were in boxes, sealed with cellophane so the kashrut could be guaranteed.  The first night the hotel sent them up with a wonderful bellman named Nelson and a tiny microwave where he heated them for us.  The meal was called Buffalo Chicken Wings with Rice and Corn.  It was a mush of rice, corn and way way waaaaay overcooked chicken wings.  And tomato sauce.  Plus it was spicy which I hate.  Somehow this became very important to me – not sure why.

In the morning we were able to eat hard boiled eggs on plastic plates w/plastic silverware.  Not so bad.  Lunch brought spaghetti with weird meat-balls and tomato-flavored library paste.  I took some salad from the conference buffet – which included – but was unavailable to me — rye bread (not kosher), cold cuts (not kosher) and cheese (not kosher.)  We had Sushi for dinner which is ok and was good.

Lise_stern_1 Spice_and_spirit I often quote our friend MONK – "Here's the thing."  I have spent a lot of time working on learning the rules of kashrut and often spend Friday evenings reviewing the rules (the books here [How to Keep Kosher and the Spice and Spirit Cookbook] are the best I've found) but it's just hard both to figure out and to execute on the road.  I only buy food for our home with a hechscher (that U with a circle around it at the top of this post)  and I know now to cook. As I've said before, the home stuff is fine – comfortable and real.

I think that the real problem isn’t the food it’s the exclusionary nature of this portion of the observant life.  I’m going to have to learn how to manage it and keep writing about it until it feels better because right now it feels lonely in some odd way.  Then I go to an event or to services at our synagogue and realize why I’m doing this.  My husband calls it “the yoke of heaven” and reminds me that I’ve chosen it and will find a way to live within it.  I know that’s true and that whether I eat crummy spaghetti is really not the issue.  Reading the New York Times travel section and knowing I really can’t eat in most of the restaurants there is more the issue.  OR wander into a Guatemalan hole-in-the-wall on 16th St. or a Greek place downtown or a Vietnamese place in Paris or even a steak house in Chicago!

HOLD ON!! I know as I read this how spoiled I sound.  I’ve spent my life in amazing adventures in travel AND food and it’s not like I’ve never had these experiences.  I am just really struggling with surrender I think.  In some circles they call it “turning it over” to God.  Our rabbi says “There is a God and it’s not me.”  If I accept that then I have to accept the observant principles that inform the faith and the peace it offers.  Most of the time I can.   But boy it’s a bumpy journey.