education – Don't Gel Too Soon

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Cancer, Courage and Rage

Cancer has taken so many people I’ve loved and admired. This new interview with two hugely admired and much-loved celebrities reminded me of how deeply it affects us all . We know, in our heads, that the presence of beauty, courage, fame and an amazing marriage and family can’t keep the monster at bay. Neither can being the most respected broadcast journalist of the past 30 years; Tom Brokaw had cancer too. So did my husband, by the way. Thankfully, they are still with us. But it’s a roll of the dice, not fame or fortune, or even education, that’s made it so.

So why are we not all enraged? Why do we refuse to keep this plague at (or at least near) the top of our agenda? We face so much right now: attacks on women, racial tension, income inequality, climate change, declining education systems and infrastructure – fill in your own particular blank. But no matter how we feel about any of these issues, we all grieve for those we’ve lost to cancer; we all long for their presence in our lives and know that it is just a lack of knowledge that took them from us.

No family is untouched; the lucky ones face it among older members but so many lose loved ones — family and friends, well before they’ve seen their children grow up, or get married or find their way in the world and before they’ve exhausted the gifts that brought so much to all of us. I’ve been thinking about them a great deal recently, and have felt, for some time, a need to honor them once again here. Many died before there was an Internet but I’ve added links where I could.

We were young journalists together:

Margot Adler

Mary Halleron

Mark Harrington

Joan Shorenstein

Teachers, mentors, friends:

Maggie Morton

The Dearest:

Do We Americans Still Have It? Do We Care? #MicroblogMonday

I’ve spent most of my life thinking about disasters and potential apocalypses and injustice and misery: I’m a journalist, or at least I was, so I don’t get discouraged easily. So far the world, or at least our country, has always seemed to right itself in the nick of time. I seriously wonder if we can still do it though. We all know why:

A bitterly divided country

Racism

Institutional injustice

The terrifying assault on women’s rights and well-being, here and elsewhere

The decline of our public schools

Climate change

The rise of fundamentalism

The coarsening of our culture

The cost of a college education

Ebola

ISIS

Hunger

Anti-Vaxx-ers (seriously)

Add your own here____________________

Beneath those individual issues lies the biggest threat: what appears to be the larger change in our values. As I watched The Roosevelts and, strangely enough, re-watched The King’s Speech, I wondered (not for the first time) where those sorts of world leaders (FDR, a president with political skills, toughness, vision and an understanding both of where the country was and where he needed to take it, Teddy Roosevelt who took on income inequality through trust busting and began what became the environmental movement (and yes he also started a couple of wars… or a reluctant King George IV, who not only held Britain together and committed under horrible circumstances but also led by example) are today, whether they could be elected or heeded — whether they would even be willing to try. Even more, I wondered if our country would accept them; whether we are still capable of selflessness or a sense of duty or a thoughtful response to a call to sacrifice. I hope so.

To Letty and Marlo with Thanks: My Free to Be Grandson

My grandson Nate turned two yesterday. He loves music. And, a child of his era, music video. We are avid watchers of Free to Be…You and Me clips.

This morning, this song, and the others, ran on a loop in my mind as I walked passed strollers and playgrounds in the park. Not for the first time, I was overcome with gratitude to the two of you and the others who brought these songs to what is literally now generations of children. It was a major factor in our home when our boys were little; it was even the school play at their elementary school. Now it belongs to their children. And, I suspect, those who follow.

It's become my go-to baby present to young families who don't already know it – and sometimes to those who do. And, within a few bars Glad to Have a Friend Like You or When We Grow Up, can bring me to tears.

It's everything we wished for our kids when they were little – all of us; it's a myriad of memories of all the hours we spent loving, dancing to and singing these wonderful songs as they became part of us.

And so I presume, for all the moms and dads, sons and daughters, sisters and brothers and teachers and friends — to thank you one more time, as I enter the third year of the second generation in our family to be "free to be."

Glad to have a friend like you!

OK So I’m Mad

It’s been a lazy weekend. Both Sunday papers got read. The COSTCO run was made (but not the bed.) We went out for three different meals so cooking was minimal. But the news is really pissing me off.

We’ve reduced the President of the United States to a propaganda tool. I’ve worked in school TV. I know what will happen when the President speaks on Tuesday. Teachers who disagree with Obama will talk during the speech; others will just turn off the TV. Remember the story of the kids in Dallas who cheered when President Kennedy was killed? They were too young to have an informed hatred. It was generated in them. And now, with a President whom we all know faces more danger than most, the President’s enemies are willing to do it again .

OK lets go from there to health care. With a calculated harshness these same people have managed to stir up every frightened, confused voter in the country by convincing them they’re in infinite danger. For the elderly it’s nearly a promise to send them all out to die on an ice flow. For others it’s the promise that they’ll have to wait forever for care, that they’ll never be able to pick their doctors and that their care will lose quality. And let’s not forget the screaming madness that forever polluted the revered American tradition of the town meeting.

I’m writing this as Labor Day draws to a close. Cranky and sad, I wish for a renewed commitment, as we honor those who, mostly, work with their hands, that a miracle will move the battling legislators to “man up” and make something happen so that no worker, or any other American, will spend next Labor Day worrying about what they’ll do if one of their kids falls off his bike on the last day of summer and breaks a leg.

Sonia Sotomayor – Sharing the Obama, and the American, Story

It was striking to listen to the President and Sonia Sotomayor today. Listen to her story, and think of his. The parallels are striking. Early "modest circumstances", early loss of a father, strong women supporting them (for Obama his mother intellectually and his grandmother in other ways, for Sotomayor her mom), and the power of – the huge, profound belief in — the power of education to change a life. It is becoming a mantra of this administration – the President's speeches and appearances with young people, certainly those of Michelle, and, we see today, of his choice for Supreme Court nominee. I was liveblogging with Kim Pearson at BlogHer and wrote that I believe Obama is "retuning the American sensibility." By "retuning" I mean returning us, like a tuner with a piano, back to the standards that sustained us for so long.

My father made it impossible not to understand the value of education. His father came here from Eastern Europe with nothing and my dad, with the help of several scholarships and three jobs at a time, graduated from Harvard and Harvard Law School. He told me once we probably wouldn't inherit much – that "your education is your inheritance." And so it was.

For much of the past couple of decades though, that belief has been blunted – by the tech revolution (even though much of it was produced by immigrants who also built a life here) and the greedy 80's, by the growing gap between the wealthy and even the middle class, and by what has felt to many like disproportionate power in the hands of business. It has just looked harder to get from those humble beginnings. Our values were so much more about money: the sports stars and rock stars and the Donald Trumps of the world than education and service and personal responsibility.

Of course, the barriers are still devastating for many. How does a child entering preschool with a 500 word vocabulary keep up with one entering with 15,000 words? Research tells us that's often the difference between kids from well-to-do versus economically challenging households at preschool age. There is a wealth of work to do to make it possible for us all to truly start out on a level playing field.

Even so, it's exciting to think about what happened today because the central players have "walked the walk" within their own communities and beyond, managing challenges in race, gender, ethnicity and class. No matter how the nomination turns out, it's a reminder of what we want to – and often do believe about our country: that those dreams are still possible, that the stories with which many of us grew up are still true. It's up to all of us to make sure that we continue to return to these beliefs, and where they are not yet true, work to make them so.

Racism in School: a Story from My Sweet Friend Kelly

Mocha Momma is not your usual person, no way, no how. Alive, loving, energetic, a committed, amazing educator and Vice-Principal in an underserved school, she is a jewel to all who know her. You will find her friends and admirers all over her own blog and BlogHer. but today, she had a bad day. One she didn't deserve. One that would not have happened if she hadn't been doing her job so well. And it wasn't a kid who did it, it was a parent.

Take a look at this story, in her words. It will make you angry, but it will make you love her too, and remind you of the wonderful people fighting all the odds they face trying to help our kids. If you're so inclined, leave a comment and tell her.

Education, National Security, Charlie Rose and Arne Duncan

The man sitting next to President Obama is our new Education Secretary Arne Duncan. Wednesday night he spent an hour with Charlie Rose. I've inserted some excerpts below; you can watch the whole hour here. Chuck Todd has summarized the interview as well, here. If you have time though, I recommend that you watch one or the other; this is not a usual man.

Maybe this position is one that allows for more exceptionally unambiguous appointments by Democrats; Secretary Richard Riley, who served President Clinton, was also extraordinary. Named by TIME Magazine as one of the ten top cabinet members of all time, he presided, along with the unstoppable Linda Roberts, over the Internet wiring of all our schools. He also worked to build up early childhood education, community colleges, parent engagement,higher standards and much more. So I admit from the get-go that I have a soft spot for this kind of education leader. Even among such excellence though I suspect this man is going to raise the bar even higher. Watch this.

See what I mean? What impresses me is not only the exceptional story of growing up in the home of a mother who ran an inner-city tutoring program; of seeing for himself what a decent education, which he calls a matter of social justice, can enable. Not only listening to him describe the educated friends from the program who "made it" and those who didn't learn – and "died." Literally.

It's his vision of serious ways to meet the obligation we have to our kids – and our economy. His belief in the school as a potential center of the community, as a resource, run, perhaps, by the school during school hours and the Y or Boys and Girls Clubs afterward, remaining open late into the evening, six or seven days a week. Recession, depression or apocalypse, we aren't going to have a very attractive 21st Century if we don't return our schools to their role as engines in the production of innovative Americans who keep us economically and creatively at the vanguard. So even if we can look away from the substandard schools, the ridiculously high drop-out rates and the lousy physical plants as someone else's kid's problem, the loss of those kids hurts us all. It's a national security issue.

Another Landmark in Jewish Life, Another Lesson Learned

When I first got involved in observant Judaism, I was appalled at a lot of what I saw. Without any background or knowledge I was ready to condemn rules from keeping kosher to circumcision to the bedecken in a marriage ceremony to Jewish education.

I’ve changed my mind about many things (though not all) but more important than any single issue is the larger lesson of this lengthy and complicated transition: you can’t judge anything until you really understand it. It’s so easy to laugh off a traditional life, modest clothing, 613 commandments (and I still struggle with many of them and remain, I know, ignorant of many others.) But as each rule and ritual is placed into context, its importance emerges, if you let it. Not for everything, certainly, but for more of this somewhat exotic existence than I ever expected.

Last night I went with friends to celebrate their son’s receipt of his first siddur – prayerbook. It is a remarkable event. In advance, parents come to school and decorate the books’ cover; the kids wear crowns with prayers on top, there’s a long performance full of the child’s version of many of the traditions and they dance and sing and tell us what they will contribute to the future. Parents and siblings and sleeping infants and grandparents are gathered to watch, in a balloon-decorated room with cupcakes and apple juice waiting in the back.

Of course, all this is a kind of indoctrination. But what I’ve realized is that I think any child rearing of merit imparts values as this ceremony does. In this case, the gift of prayer is celebrated, and being old enough to become, at least a bit, master of one’s own prayers is pretty cosmic. Most Orthodox ceremonies I’ve been part of celebrate this gift and the journey of our emerging relationships with God, each in our own way.

But as I remember taking my kids to marches, and boycotting Nestle, and raising them on Pete Seeger and the Weavers and politics all the time, well – that was a form of indoctrination too. And we were determined that they would receive the values that we thought most important, and be raised with a keen sense of right and wrong in political as well as personal terms. Now, of course, they’ve modified all that to suit themselves, as they should. But they had a set of values to push up against, as their father used to say. Instead of prayers, the signs in their school said “Each one, teach one” and every kid had a task to contribute to the community. Not so different, just not Godly.

I know that we are a secular nation, and that many American Jews live highly secular lives. I did too. But somehow, we found our way here. Tonight I’ll light Sabbath Candles and feel the quiet peace that comes with them. And I’ll be grateful not only for that but for the grace and love of the parents who invited me to share in their son’s celebration, and who have so often provoked me to think harder and struggle more to understand this life I’ve chosen. And have taught both of us so much. Believe me, I’m at least as surprised as you are by my reactions, but as long as that continues, I know I’m keeping faith with the name of this blog, along with the larger faith I seek.

Shabbat Shalom.

Behind Every Stimulus Package Are People Who Need Help

I spent part of Thursday sitting in Starbucks on the GW (George Washington University) campus after a meeting, loving being around all these students buzzing and working and laughing. I loved college; could feel my head growing. It's an amazing time in a young person's life and one that forms much of who we are later. Now, though, the carefree collegian is a thing of the past. Everyone has jobs and student loans. Instead of leaving school with a "sky's the limit" ambition, many must look first for the job that will help them pay off their loans, and only then for the one they'll really love.

Here are some stories:

When my husband graduated from medical school we had under $4,000 in loans to pay off.
One of my son's friends left undergraduate school with over $100,000 in debt
A wonderful friend who is a born teacher went to law school and then to a firm. I asked her why. She told me she would only be able to consider teaching once her loans were paid off – and they were enormous.
As I've written before, both of my parents were formed by the Depression. Each hoped for a career they were never able to pursue; instead they took the subject-related scholarships they were offered and were grateful to have them. A would-be artist became a teacher; an architect a lawyer. Neither complained overtly about this; I learned these facts in passing and both were quick to add how glad they were to have been able to go to college at all.
My sisters and I were blessed to have college paid for; we were told that our education was our inheritance and not to look for much more, which was fine with us. But most families just can't do that anymore. It's too expensive.
Many political observers posit that there would have been no anti-war movement in the 60's if college students had had to work while in school. Most of us had our tuitions taken care of; that meant that we had time to organize and raise hell.
I remember a good friend, at dinner, saying to me bitterly, "Jim and I never had time for that stuff. We were both working to get through school. You guys were so righteous but you had no idea what we were doing just to be able to stay through the semester."
I told a recent college graduate how impressed I was with what he'd accomplished. His response: " didn't do anything. Colin slept in his van for a semester because he couldn't pay both tuition and rent. Be impressed with him!"

So. This is kind of a random list but when we're arguing over stimulus packages, we need to remember the people behind them. Like these.

Please Read This: It Will Make You Thankful for This Woman

That's Kelly, known to you as Mocha Momma. Hence the photo. She is an extraordinary blogger and story teller, daughter, parent and friend. She also is a learning disabilities expert and "literacy coach" and now an assistant principal, and this week she posted something that reminded me again of how critical her work is and how well she does it. Take a minute for a brief inkling of what it's like to work in an "underserved" school – and at the difference one exceptional woman can make. You'll be proud.