MORE BLOGGER ETHICS THOUGHTS

Women_and_workjpg THIS IS FROM MORRA’S  VERY FINE AND ALWAYS THOUGHTFUL WOMEN AND WORK BLOG, IN A POST ENTITLED:  "With all due respect Cindy."  Comments are closed on this post so I’m quoting her post here and then posting a response. 

MORRA:  "First off, I don’t have a Typekey account, so I am going to do a trackback instead.
Cindy Samuels, who is brilliant, is wrong on
this post:"
“One of my favorite bloggers sent me a note asking my opinion about a service that pays bloggers to  write about client products.  It’s not secret, the writers disclose their contracts.  Even so, I told her that as an old newsie, I thought that, unless she was desperate for money, she shouldn’t go near the idea.  WHY?”
AFTER THE QUOTE, SHE ADDED"Journalists do endorsements, why can’t I? Not that anyone’s asking, of course."

Morra, who unlike me really IS brilliant, asks a fair question.  But I don’t think reputable journalists endorse products.  They don’t do commercials and use their own language to sell products.  If they are busy selling in the context of their coverage – or we are, in the context of our blogs, then why should anyone believe us about anything?  How do they know which things are paid for and which are not?  When is a blog a blog and when does it become solely a marketing tool? 

I may be showing my age, since I was trained as a reporter long ago, but I shudder to think of the consequences of putting PAID ad copy into a post.  Let’s keep this conversation going – I respect Morra too much to do anything but think harder about this…..

USE BASIC NEWS ETHICS AND HELP SAVE BLOGGING

Dollars_2 One of my favorite bloggers sent me a note asking my opinion about a service that pays bloggers to  write about client products.  It's not secret, the writers disclose their contracts.  Even so, I told her that as an old newsie, I thought that, unless she was desperate for money, she shouldn't go near the idea.  WHY?

Understand, this is NOT selling ads on your blog or being part of a syndicate like BlogHer, my favorite entity on the planet, or Federated Media, founded by the amazing John Battelle.  That's an advertiser paying for a separate, discrete place on the page.

This entity, and others far more insidious, including sub-rosa corporate and political efforts, threaten the credibility of the writer and, even more important, of the medium.  I was reminded of this after reading a speech on the dangers faced by legitimate blogs and bloggers, given by the early Internet pioneer Jason Calacanis.  In it he reminds us what happened to e-mail because of spammers and urges bloggers to fight such developments in our thrilling new medium.  Here's what he says about what spammers did to e-mail "Many of you built this city — this trusted medium — with hard work and good intentions.  Then, along come the spammers, and they piss in the well, ruining it for all of us."

Yeah I know it's a real guy image but the fact remains, there's a thin line between talking about or reviewing material and taking money to sell it.  Usually, by the way, not what it would cost to reach the same people some other way.  And almost inevitably, taking blogging closer to the diminished credibility so much a part of my former world of "mainstream journalism.  

SIM SHALOM (Grant Peace)

Another_motherMy friend Cooper, who helped so many people in the days after Hurricane Katrina continues her deep, principled search for good.  She’s posted a meditation on the resurrection of Another Mother for Peace and her hope that moms can make the difference in bringing us closer to an end to war.

Rather than comment here, I send you to my comment on her site.  As usual she is insightful and hopeful — take a look and then move down to what I said there — which best sums up my less optimistic view.  I do know that if Cooper has anything to do about it, my pessimism will be misplaced.  If you haven’t been to her blog, go there even if this issue isn’t what speaks to you.

WINE, WOMEN AND PLAY DATES (Yeah I’m late on this)

Wine_and_playdates I must have been one of the last people on the planet to hear about this ruckus — a profile of mothers together at the swing set, pushing the kids with glasses of wine in hand.  As I read in Her Bad Mother, the story appeared on my old alma mater THE TODAY SHOW, where I worked for nine proud and happy years.  I don’t know whether I’m more upset with the content of the story, the reaction or the fact that TODAY is, generally, so much less substantial than it was when I worked there.  ADD THIS: I just read most of the back story to all this at the source:  Melissa Summers’ Suburban Bliss.  If even part of it is true (and I have no reason to doubt any of it) then it’s far more a scandal about television than it is about drinking and moms.  PLEASE READ THIS.  It also includes links to many comments on the matter.

As I said before I read Melissa’s very troubling post, "This story looked unbalanced to me – at least the video did, so I was glad to learn from Jenn Satterwhite’s Mommy Bloggers post that TODAY is planning a follow-up on Friday."  In the mean time take a look at what Catherine (Her Bad Mother) and others (Google Blog Search turned up dozens of posts) have had to say about this.  I want to watch the follow-up before I say anything.  I lived around bad alcohol issues at one point in my life and am very sensitive to the issue so am remaining silent for now.

PLEASE COMMENT though if you have thoughts about this.

ALL MY LIFE’S A CIRCLE, SUNRISE TO SUNDOWN…

A_girls_blurThese little girls are dancing at their cousin Judah’s Bar Mitzvah. It happened Saturday and was quite wonderful. At a service that morning Judah read the entire portion of the Torah – long and intricate – in Hebrew in a loud, confident voice. As he finished, the 12 and 13-year-old boys who are his friends stormed down the center aisle of the synagogue to congratulate him and shake his hand – recognizing and celebrating his new status.

Once again, I was struck by the value of religious observances to give our lives shape and meaning – and by how much this simple fact still astonishes me. The rite of passage — an adolescent reading from the Torah before the congregation, is fraught with meaning. It’s an acknowledgement of impending adulthood and, even more critically, of entry into the covenant among the Jewish people. I love it.

Each part of the day was tied to learning (another lesson on this journey – you don’t study, you “learn”. ) A talk by the young Bar Mitzvah on the Torah portion he had just read, talks during lunch and through the afternoon, by uncles, cousins and more. At the evening party, father and son spent close to an hour talking through the final part of a complicated set of writings. Throughout, we were reminded that great though parties and presents might be, what matters most is the move toward becoming, each day, a better and holier person.

As we listened to the teaching, father and son trading riffs on the material, a friend, sitting beside me, leaned over and said “You aren’t as far as you think from all this. Your great grandparents, and mine, were doing this. And now you’ve returned to it.” Blew me away.

A_boys_playThis beautiful day, and the loving, welcoming family that had included us in their celebration, offered a great privilege. Together we welcomed a new member of tribe, celebrated his family and shared their pride. Dancing, singing and, with delight, watching everyone spinning through the music and happiness, we reminded ourselves, and one another, of a treasured heritage – one that this young man’s celebration joins as the next link in the chain.

A Woman of Valor

Lisa_goldberg_cropped_2 Lisa Goldberg, 54 years old, died this week of a brain aneurysm.  When I heard, all I could think was “what a waste.”  While it’s always sad when someone dies, especially to those who loved them, Lisa, quietly (there are so few photos of her available online that I had to use this candid) and with great dignity, contributed so much.  President of the Charles H. Revson Foundation, she was responsible for funding many impressive programs.  Some dealt with Jewish issues, some with urban social change, and, as in the one through which I met her, some dealt with issues relating to women.

Wmc_logo_1 Two years ago, she had the foresight to issue a planning grant to support the launch of the Women’s Media Center, a project for women in journalism whose founders include Gloria Steinem, Jane Fonda, Eve Ensler and Marlene Sanders among other great pioneers.  In the time since, the Center has made great strides and become a force not only for women journalists but in the coverage of issues that matter to or involve women.

I didn’t know Lisa well – more admired her from afar.  Her role at Revson was remarkable, and her leadership made difference in a great many lives.  She was Best Woman at the wedding of a friend of mine — which I always thought was pretty cool.  Beyond a few conversations about the Center or books we loved, we didn’t have that much contact.

One incident though, to me, is typical of her.  I was “staffing” the early days of the Women’s Media Center and we were meeting at the Manhattan headquarters of the Revson Foundation.  Some material had not been printed, there was a blizzard, and I barely had time to get to the offices much less to Kinko’s.  Lisa’s staff helped me get everything printed, collated and bound without breaking a sweat – OR acting like they were doing me a favor (which they were…..)   I sent Lisa a note letting her know how great they had been.  Her response was typical of my perception of her.  She thanked me for letting her know, told me she had forwarded my note to the young women who had helped me and added how high her own regard was for each of them.  Again – quiet, unassuming and on the mark.

Of course there’s one other thing.  When someone dies suddenly, there’s always a moment of terror.  In this case, just as I always measure the deaths of older people by whether they were older or younger than my father was when he died, I was shocked to realize that Lisa was younger than I.  It’s a credit to her, though, that this thought was fleeting and quickly banished.  The loss of such a “woman of valor” is tough enough on its own.

HATS OFF (???) Part 2

Hats2_1  You thought we were finished with this, didn’t you?  Sorry.  Laura Shaw Frank (scholar of such magnitude and teacher of such openness) this weekend continued her lectures on the issue of modesty.  She made two points which greatly enhance this conversation — which follows from this earlier post.   

The first was that the term "modesty" which includes not only hair covering and clothing but also a gender-neutral moral, ethical and spiritual modesty, is meant to bring us closer to God.  So, although many of the most conservative Orthodox Jews set what appear (to me) to be unjust and unnecessary conditions, as we consider what’s modest and what isn’t, where, how and if to cover hair and why, we need to remember the overarching concept of a private relationship with a higher power, enhanced and empowered by a modest body AND spirit; as we consider how intense the rules should be – and indeed why they must exist at all — we need to do so in the context of the intent — male or female — of living modestly.

The second issue she raised was about something called "habituation."  "Habituation" is change in social climate – in habit, really.  Does the fact that so few women cover their hair make it no longer a form of "nakedness" to leave the hair uncovered?  I have to tell you – half of me boils over still at the idea that we even need to have this conversation. In fact, at the discussion, one of my friends asked why she had to listen to rules and Talmudic interpretations of how women should behave, proffered by men.  Frank cited valid, respected sources on both sides.  Some say that many of the most critical prayers may not be recited in the presence of a woman with uncovered hair; others say that "since most women go that way now, it has become like an exposed part of the body."  In other words, "It’s all around you so why would it harm your thoughts or seem like nakedness?  You must be inured to it by now."

The thing is – if modesty is also a key to internal connection to God, what is the point of defying the concept?  Why not find a way for men and women to pursue modesty as part of the pursuit of God?  What Laura Frank maintains is that as we decide how to apply these ideas we need to know the sources.  To struggle or condemn rules, as I am wont to do, only by applying current political standards without understanding of the deeper intention is not fair to those who interpret the rules or to oneself.   You need a historic and biblical context.

Beyond that – the biggest question:  IF WE DO ACCEPT THE CONCEPT OF HABITUATION – WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE????  You may remember my link to Cooper Munroe’s site – BEEN THERE, where she posted a New York Times piece called Middle School Girls Gone Wild.   It’s a troubling description of very suggestive dance performances by tween-aged girls.  No sensible person wants that for her child; it’s that end of the spectrum that underlines the question of "how far do we habituate?  How do we maintain the decorum we do seek?  Must the slippery slope govern everything?"

I realize that to non-Orthodox Jews this is probably a bizarre post but the idea behind it – living a life without showiness or improper behavior as each of us sees it — is not limited to our small community.  The fact that the TIMES story was one of the "most emailed" for some time proves that.

ME AND MRS. MUIR

Ghost_and_mrs_muirWhen I was one year old, Joseph L. Mankiewicz directed Gene Tierney and Rex Harrison (and a very young Natalie Wood) starred in a movie about a spirited widow who falls in love with the ghost of a sea captain. Set in the captain’s seaside cottage high on a bluff, it was wonderful – romantic but in a very modern way. His efforts to “haunt” her until she fled failed because she just didn’t scare easily — which made her very attractive to him (of course it didn’t hurt that she was Gene Tierney beautiful) and his gritty honesty and love of life enchanted her.
I can’t remember the first time I saw The Ghost and Mrs. Muir – it’s so much a part of me – and of memories of sitting up in the middle of the night, on the old sofabed in the room where the TV was, watching it with my sisters and a plate of pretzels and mustard — that it seems as much a part of me as they are. This morning at about 6, I woke up and found it just beginning on HBO.
What a joy for a Sunday morning! Fifty-nine years after this film was made, it’s more timely than many of the most modern of today; the woman so determined to be independent, the man who loves her loving her for that very quality. Of course there’s the rest – the almost disatrous marriage, the help the Captain gives her when she runs out of money – but basically they were two remarkable people on different sides of the veil – yet with more in common and more of a respect for one another than many film couples who are both alive.
Ghost_and_mrs_muir_coverSo find it on HBO before the month is out or get ahold of it some other way. It’s a wonderful journey to a time and sense of place that valued love and respect between men and women (alive OR dead) and a perfect film to watch with someone you love – lover, husband, son or daughter. You’ll both be happy by the end of it — if a little weepy – and you’ll have so very much to talk about!

Sublime and Ridiculous — New Babies and the Golden Globes

MosheMonday morning dear friends of ours named their new daughter.  She had been born on Thursday, but in keeping with Orthodox tradition, no one knew her name until the service held during regular morning prayers.  It’s a beautiful tradition – babies names have great thought behind them – connection to a deceased family member and when it’s possible to some kind of deeper meaning.  Our friends’ other two kids have very meaningful and special names so we weren’t surprised that this little girl will also carry one.  Born the week that the story of Moses in the bulrushes was read in the synagogue – she was named Batya – daughter of God — the name given in commentaries to the daughter of Pharaoh who pulled the infant from the Nile.  Her courage, and the fact that she saved the man who would save the Jewish people, earned that for her.

I’d post her photo here but I write this for me and don’t like to turn friends and family into editorial fodder.  Suffice it to say that this was an event of great joy – the parents two people whose contributions both as leaders and role models are legion; the big brother and sister, 4 and 2, smart, funny and sweet.  Daddy often leads our services, Mom leads much of the study that goes on – and there’s a lot.  In the middle of all the love, laughter and prayer I remembered again why I had chosen this complicated life, and was grateful.

Ugly_betty Meanwhile, out there in the Outside World, I was amazed at the Golden Globes.  Yeah I’m an awards junkie but this year the Globes were like COSTCO – crammed with every kind of person.  It was exciting to see how different the winner’s roll call has become.  Whether you looked at age, race or nationality, all sorts of people made it to the podium.  Here are just some of the winners – and this doesn’t count people from countries other than the UK because I wasn’t sure enough about who was from where.  Here goes:  8 WHO ARE NOT SO YOUNG: Warren Beatty, Helen Mirren, Maryl Streep, Martin Scorsese, Helen Moreen (again), Alec Baldwin, Bill Night, Jeremy Irons.  2 WHO ARE LATINO;  America Herrera and SHOW Ugly Betty, 6 WHO ARE AFRICAN AMERICAN; Forest Whitaker, Jennifer Hudson, Eddie Murphy, Prince, Grays Anatomy executive producer Shanda Rimes and FILM Dream Girls, and 9 — yes 9 out of 26 major awards – to OUR COUSINS FROM THE UK:  Helen Mirren, Sacha Baron Cohen, Helen Mirren again, Peter Morgan, Hugh Laurie, Bill Nighy, Jeremy Irons, Emily Blunt and SHOW: Elizabeth 1

I also think the quality of the nominated and winning programs was pretty damn high.  If it weren’t for reality shows you could almost make the claim that quality is beginning to become expectable on television – and if you count Project Runway you can kind of make the case for at least one of those as well.  I’ve even had heavy-duty ‘DC politicos asking me "what are you watching these days?" right along with discussions of the Book Review.  The bad is still really bad, of course, but maybe by the time young Batya grows up that will change too.