London Bridges, Kids, and Ferris Wheels

Waterlloo Bridge nice long shot

That old rascal Samuel Johnson told us that when we were tired of London, we’d be tired of life.  I know it’s summer when any city is inviting but this week is cool and bright and breezy and London is full of British school groups and kids from everywhere else too, and we have an apartment right in the middle of Covent Garden (well NOT the market, God forbid, just the neighborhood) and our older son and his new wife are only 40 minutes away and we have friends here, too.  So how could we be tired?
What you see here is the view from Waterloo Bridge (and yes that’s St. Paul’s Cathedral in the background.)  This morning I went out and walked all along the Embankment, over where the trees are, then crossed a bridge just out of view on the right and returned via South Bank, London’s wonderful (relatively) new arts and museum area.  My entire walk was around three miles and I’m realizing that it’s much easier to do the walking when there are new things to look at, not just the old neighborhood or, as lovely as it is, Rock Creek Park.

Kids trade addresses

The wonder of a great city is that it’s always changing, that even the most trivial journey is full of surprises.  On my way home tonight I came across a group of teenagers – one of dozens of g The wonder of a great city is that it’s always changing, that even the most trivial journey is full of surprises.  On my way home tonight I came across a group of teenagers – one of dozens of groups we’ve been seeing ever since we got here.  The reason they’re all sitting on the sidewalk is that they’re exchanging addresses and spelling them out – different nationalities, different spelling.  Kind of an EU photo.

Of course there’s lots else going on here.  Huge waves of immigration, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, what looks to me to be an appalling amount of youthful alcohol consumption and unemployment all take their toll.  There’s something about the place despite those issues though.  The day after the 2005 subway bombing that killed 52 people, Londoners got back on the train and went to work.  They did that all during the Blitz as much of the rest of the world watched them face down Hitler almost alone.

Cities are supposed to change.  That’s what makes them exciting.  Even so, London has seen more than its share: waves of immigration that have transformed it, an early history of wars and fires and plagues, contemporary royal scandals and of course the “troubles” between Belfast and the rest of Ireland and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.   After all, who would have believed before it arrived to help celebrate the Millennium, that there would be a ferris wheel right in the center of town?  They call it the London Eye to make it sound fancy but it’s still a ferris wheel, here in same town that has a real live queen living in a real live palace?  It’s pretty amazing.

I’m thinking that while we’re here I can try to get past some of what I’ve written here and learn a bit of what it’s like to truly li
ve here.  It’s got to be different from wandering around with no need to be on time or face the traffic or crowded mass transit and infinite numbers of tourists and, incidentally, deal with what appears to be an enormous amount of alcohol consumption – especially by men.  I’m hoping to keep you posted as I make my way.  I hope you’ll come along.

 

Avenue Q, in London! How Did We Miss It Before?

It’s more than a little crazy to come all the way to London, see an American musical – and find it so familiar, so real and well-observed, witty, loving and even joyous, that you wonder how it is possible that you hadn’t’ seen it before.  The play is Avenue Q, and for most people it will be a “yeah, and???” because it won so many Tonys, including Best Musical, Best Book, Best Direction of a musical, Best Performance by a leading actor in a musical, and Best Performace by a leading actress in a musical, and because everyone has written about it for years.  Hah! And Cindy thinks she made some great discovery!

In fact, I do think I’ve made a great discovery – that it’s still possible that an entire theater full of people from dozens of countries (just seated directly around us were India, New Zealand, Australia and France) can respond to something without helicopters or wild moving sets or TV/film stars in the cast  — something so completely human (well, if you count the puppets who are in fact among the “most” human) that it inspired and moved us all.  That all this can be accomplished with warmth and — I know this sounds corny — a real affection for what makes us human, for the power of laughter and of songs.  Both of us feel that we had a perfect evening, one that inspires gratitude, even.  Here’s a little of it for you, in case you missed it too.(From the Tony’s)

We’re Here – London Is Home for a While

Phone boothsJust in case you wondered if we were really here, I took this photo. Kind of weird to see phone booths all over London since they’re almost completely gone at home. Hardly profound but there you are.

It’s been an exciting, exhausting day.  We landed at around nine this morning, moved into our flat on Broad Court just off Drury Lane and near Covent Garden, and did our usual forced march to check out the neighborhood.  Lunch, a quick nap and now we’ve returned so I can write this before I go offline for Shabbat.

Oh – and if you’re like me, one of your favorite memories of Covent Garden aren’t even of the “real” one.   Take a look.  See you Sunday.

Sarah Palin and the Resignation: Some Posts You May Have Missed

Palin leaves I don’t know about your universe, but all the listservs I read have been crammed with Sarah Palin discussions ever since The Resignation.  I went looking, therefore, for some not-so-usual blog posts, beyond the conventional wisdom.  There are lots of great comments and ideas. Among them:

My biggest hope is that the very strange tale of Sarah Palin doesn’t
dissuade other mothers of small children from running for office.
There’s something to be said for having that perspective in state
houses, governor’s offices and in Washington, D.C. I hope the strange
path that Sarah Palin seems to be on doesn’t keep other moms away from
the political world.   Punditmom

It’s hard to know what more to make of this until we get a much better
explanation, but the view from here is that you won’t have Sarah Palin
to kick around anymore.  Her Presidential prospects are done, and it’s
hard to see how Republicans will still consider her a potential leader
of the movement.  The Next Right

A few words about Sarah Palin: She is one of the most fascinating women
I have ever met. She crackles with energy like a live electrical wire
and on first meeting gets about three inches from your face. Her
instant subliminal message is: “I don’t know you very well, but I’m
very clear about who I am.” She reeks of moxie and self confidence. And
she’s fearless.  Mark McKinnon

What is going on right now in the Republican Party—even as the
professionals scramble to react with grins and snorts to the news of
Palin’s Alaska resignation—are the early scenes of the 2012 campaign
for the presidency with Sarah Palin as the once and future hero. Like
Joan of Arc,  Catherine the Great,  Elizabeth Regina, and, skipping
four centuries of quarrelsome princes,  Margaret Thatcher, the
Republican Party has already decided that the governor of Alaska will
rescue the GOP from its ruination. What Sarah Palin begins with an
announcement from Wasilla is not only a campaign, it is an Iditarod of
a crusade—first woman, first mom, and second moose-hunter into the
White House.  The Daily Beast

Beyond the basic publicity blunders Palin made (e.g., her spokesperson
was on vacation in New York while the announcement was delivered in
Alaska), the governor’s departing speech was rife with errors of
judgment. Every quitter, famous or not, can learn from her mistakes,
particularly if you’re resigning from a position of leadership.  Harvard Business Blog

As quoted in Disability News,
Palin wished that “folks could ever, ever understand that we ALL could
learn so much from someone like Trig — I know he needs me, but I need
him even more… what a child can offer to set priorities RIGHT – that
time is precious… the world needs more ‘Trigs’, not fewer.” That
apparently struck Erik Sean Nelson, described on his Huffington Post
page as a “fiction author and comedy writer,” as hilarious, and he
responded with a post titled, “Palin Will Run in ’12 on More
Retardation Platform”. . .(this one is really quite shocking)  Terri’s Special Children Blog

THIS IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:  “I think Sarah Palin is on the verge of becoming the Miami Vice of
American politics: Something a lot of people once thought was cool and
then 20 years later look back, shake their heads and just kind of
laugh,” quipped Republican media consultant Todd Harris.   Politico

But Sarah Palin didn’t quit. Her family was held hostage until she agreed to give her captures (sic) what they wanted – the ransom was her career.  Isn’t it a shame that a popular governor of Alaska with a terrific
future of contribution to her state, had to give it all up because she
made the fatal error of accepting the Republican VP nomination. Too bad
a public servant has been slaughtered. Too bad she wasn’t giving a fair
fight based on her principles. Too bad for women everywhere who have
considered a role in politics. I hope Sarah Palin travels the country
and speaks to all the folks who like her message and makes oodles of
money doing it. She’s earned it.   Help4NewMOms

We’re not very interested in bashing Palin; Todd Purdum took care of that
for all of us. But she deserves some credit: no matter how much luck is
involved, you don’t move from small-town politico to national newsmaker
in three years without at least knowing what you want. And Sarah
Palin’s resignation makes her goal abundantly clear: she will never
again have a chance to make this much money in this short a time, and
she’s going to take advantage.  The Stimulist

Finally, take a look at this: three bloggers including my good friend Jill Zimon talking about soon-to-be-ex-Gov. Palin and the impact of her withdrawal from state government.

Robert S. McNamara: Did His Atonement Suffice or Did He Just Outlive Our Anger?

Robert_McNamara

It's hard to understand the role of Robert McNamara and feelings toward him, particularly during the Johnson Administration, but if you think "Dick Cheney during the Bush years" and multiply, you'll come closest.  McNamara, who died today, was one of the great villains of my 20's and 30's.  Secretary of Defense, a major architect of the Vietnam War and defender of the ideas behind it, he supported both Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson in their attempts to "save democracy" there.   He entered the new Kennedy Administration in a blaze of glory just five weeks after being named, and then resigning as, president of the Ford Motor Company.   A supremely successful and confident executive (who opposed production of the much-reviled Edsel), he seemed a creative and promising choice.

What he became was a symbol of all that seemed wrong with American foreign policy, especially in Vietnam,(including the "domino theory" claiming that if Vietnam "fell" other nations in the region would fall as well) and one of the subjects of the landmark book about this foreign policy team, David Halberstam's The Best and the Brightest. In addition to the vast, deep anger at the direction of the war and the philosophy that defined it, McNamara and all he represented reminded us daily of what we saw as both the arrogance of the US decision to enter and remain part of the war in Vietnam and our conviction that we were being manipulated, spied upon and lied to.

Paul Hendrickson's The Living and the Dead best described McNamara's impact by visiting the stories of five people affected by the war.  Here's an excerpt from the first part of the book; it looks long,  but you'll be glad you've read it:

In the Winter of 1955

His
wife wasn't drinking milk with her Scotch in the hope her stomach might
hurt a little less – not then. A man bearing a child hadn't set himself
on fire below his Pentagon window – not yet. A wigged-out woman hadn't
stolen up behind his seat in an outdoor cafe in the Kodak winter sun of
Aspen to begin shrieking there was blood on his hands. (He was applying
ketchup to his hamburger.) A Viet Cong agent – his name was Nguyen Van
Troi — hadn't been found stringing fuses beneath a Saigon bridge he
was due to pass over. Odd metaphors and strange turns of phrase weren't
seeping from him like moons of dark ink. His pressed white shirts
weren't hanging loose at his neck. He wasn't reading Homer late at
night in an effort to compose himself. His dyslexic and ulcerated son
hadn't been shown in a national newsmagazine with his ropes of long
hair and kindly face reading aloud a list of war dead at the San
Francisco airport. Reputed members of an organization called the
Symbionese Liberation Army didn't have stored in a Berkeley garage some
crudely drawn but surprisingly detailed descriptions of the interior
and exterior of his resort home in Snowmass, along with thumb-nail
sketches of members of his family. (WIFE: name unknown to me. She is
small, not outstanding in appearance & probably not aggressive. .
.") He hadn't stood in the Pentagon briefing room in front of his
graphs and bar-charts to say with perfect seriousness, "So it is
fifteen percent of ten percent of thirteen-thirtieths that have been in
dispute here. . ." He hadn't stood on the tarmac at Andrews, at the
rollaway steps of his blue-tailed C-135, before winging to a high-level
CINCPAC meeting in Honolulu, and told another tangle of lies into a
tangle of microphones, made more artfully disingenuous statements to
the press boys, this time about the kind of forces – which is to say,
combat forces – soon to be shipped to the secretly escalated war. ("No,
uh, principally logistical support — arms, munitions, training,
assistance.") He hadn't hunched forward in his field fatigues at a news
conference in Saigon and said, as though trying to hug himself, and
with only the slightest belying stammers, "The military operations have
progressed very satisfactorily during the past year. The rate of
progress has exceeded our expectations. The pressure on the Viet Cong,
measured in terms of the casualties they have suffered, the destruction
of their units, the measurable effect on their morale, have all been
greater than we anticipated" — when, in fact, the nations chrome-hard
secretary of defense had already given up believing, in private, a long
while ago, that the thing was winnable in any military sense. The
president of the United States hadn't called him up to yell, "How can I
hit them in the nuts, Bob? Tell me how I can hit them in the nuts!" —
the them being little men in black pajamas in a skinny curve of an
unfathomable country 10,000 miles distant. He hadn't yet gone to this
same president and told him he was afraid of breaking down. The
expressions "body count" and "kill ratio" and "pacification" and
"incursion" hadn't come into the language in the way snow — to use
Orwell's image — falls on an obscene landscape. The casualty figures
of U.S. dead and missing and wounded hadn't spumed, like crimson
geysers, past the once unthinkable 100,000 mark. Nor had this man risen
at a luncheon in Dean Rusk's private dining room at the state
department (it happened on February 27, 1968, forty-eight hours before
he left office) and, without warning, begun coming apart before Rusk
and dark Clifford and Bill Bundy and Walt Rostow and Joe Califano and
Harry McPherson, telling them between stifled sobs, between what
sounded like small asphyxiating noises, between the bitter rivers of
his cursing, that the goddamned Air Force, they're dropping tonnage on
Vietnam at a higher rate than we dropped on Germany in the last part of
World War II, we've practically leveled the place, and what's it done,
nothing, a goddamned nothing, and Christ here's Westmoreland asking for
another 205,000 troops, ifs madness, can't anybody see, this thing has
to be gotten hold of, it's out of control I tell you. . .

No.

None of this.

Not yet.

It all lay waiting in the decades up ahead.

Pretty amazing, huh? Those are just a few of the moments that informed McNamara's War years, and mine. And the engendered the rage, the hateful things yelled at marches, the weeping, the tear gas, the chaos and the fear. And McNamara knew it. He spent much of the rest of his life trying to atone for those years, first by leading the World Bank in its sunnier years and urging America and the world to help the starving and the lost. At least once, he broke down at a major appearance as he described the world misery the Bank sought to abate. Later, he collaborated on a book, Argument Without End, that struggled to understand and, some claim, apologize for, the war. 

As many of the obits noted, especially that on TIME's website, ("Robert McNamara dies, no escape from Vietnam") for many, next to LBJ, McNamara was the war.  And as Hendrickson's book noted, he haunted those directly affected by the war even more than the rest of us. 

Somehow though, it's difficult to retain rage as ideas soften and history teaches us more about times we lived when we were young.  I remember that when Nixon died a friend called to talk about it.  I wasn't home, and she said to my son "What really makes me mad is that I think he outlived our anger."  I'm still trying to figure out if that's how I – we – will feel about this death.  McNamara certainly tried to both understand and to atone for Vietnam but the damage of that war, up until today, remains.  As I've written before, since Vietnam, every national campaign including the last one, and, you can be sure, any one that Sarah Palin runs in the future, is informed by – colored by – sometimes defined by – what happened then.  President Obama has certainly blunted the culture wars, generational change will absolutely change many issues, especially related to gender rights, but I wonder…  When the right gets mad – gets desperate – they can easily reignite the culture wars that were the bi-product of the Vietnam era.  And Robert McNamara is responsible for those, too.

I don't know.  Really, I don't.  But I'm ending with this Charlie Rose interview with McNamara from 1995.  Take a look.  There's more of the whole man here.  The question is now much he deserves, after what the Defense Secretary in him did, to expect us to think about all the rest.

Sons Really Do Get Married, and Their Parents Really Do Love It, (and Nobody Cried)

Our new family 1

There we are, our sweet sweet family with it's newly married eldest and his lovely brand-new wife.   It's an out-of-body experience to watch your son get married, and this was a wonderful one.  I'd been very nervous:  would it go well after the two of them had worked so hard on every detail, would they have fun, would we cry, would I look ok (well, after all, those photos last forever.)

It all did go well.  The groom (in the middle) was so joyous and ready, his speech so sure and calm; his wife so lovely and pleased, his brother (on the right)offering the loveliest, funniest, just-rightest toast ever.  There were only 80 of us so over the weekend we became a kind of tribe, tables shifting as people moved around enjoying the event, and one another. 

It was a great joy to me to see how much the boys feel for each other.  I have, today, two of my dearest wishes: that my children be good friends and that each son find a partner who is wonderful, honorable and loving.  So far so good.

I'd been thinking for months about the power of time, of change.  One of my friends commented on my Facebook page that "I remember when Josh was xeroxing his little hands in the office!" I do too.  And I thought I'd be consumed by those kinds of thoughts.  But this just felt right, timely and good for everyone.  No nostalgia, not "where are you going my little one, little one"  "sunrise, sunset" thoughts at all.  Just gratitude at the happiness and love that surrounded the bride, the groom and the rest of us.  May it always be so.

Womanomics Hits Home – Punditmom’s Home, That Is

Shipman Kay I had the privilege this morning of attending a book party at the home of the one and only Punditmom, whose talents are exceeded only by her very lovely self. 

The event had real star power:  BBC's Katty Kay and ABC's Claire Shipman, both solid, unpretentious, smart, thoughtful women – and moms – and, oh yeah, network news stars.  Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably know that they've written a book called Womanomics, whose basic thesis is that it makes economic and corporate governance sense for the needs of women workers to be accommodated by their employers.  In fact, if their book is right, and there is no reason to doubt it, there is a real revolution afoot.

For someone my age, it's thrilling to hear employment issues discussed with assumptions we could never have made.  Asking for schedule adjustments, work/family life balance, was out of the question.  We were just fighting for equal pay and a few weeks off when we had our babies.   The argument these two women make, that businesses are learning that women in their workforce in great numbers, and at all levels, is of great value to their bottom line.  They line up to hear the two speak; join conference calls by the dozens to be briefed and basically finally get the power and capacity of "more than half the talent, not just more than half the population."  Interesting, accessible and funny, great believers in their mission, they were a pleasure to meet and listen to.  I can't wait to read the book.

OH and I'll post about The Wedding soon.

Days Before a Son Marries; Mothers-in-Law Get Jittery Too

DSC00800

These two sweeties will be married on Sunday.  One of them is my son.  My first born.  My baby.  I don’t know why I’ve been so reluctant to write about it; it’s a beautiful relationship and a joyous moment in all of our lives. But I have been silent, or almost so, about it for some time.  Can’t seem to let myself write.  My sweet friend Karin Lippert, noting my cryptic tweet, wrote:

Congratulations… mixed emotions are the new normal, the new black? No, we have all always had overwhelming,wonderful emotions about our kids…

She’s right, I guess.  The mix isn’t between wishing well and not so well, it’s between joy and respect for the place these two have found together in the world, and my profound sense of time passing, and of change.  I’ll keep you posed when I can.

You’re Doing What? Trains, Planes and Automobiles (and Us)

MAP-SM_southwestchief
It's pouring in Chicago.  We arrived early this morning at the end of Phase One of our Great Adventure.  So you don't feel uninformed, here's the story:

  1. Our son is getting married next Sunday in San Francisco.
  2. My husband has a (we hope recently repaired) detached retina and can't fly until we know the repair worked.
  3. If we had waited until we were sure the surgery was successful, it would have been too late to drive if we had had to. 
  4. We are already fairly broke from tuition and the slow economy so why not spend even more money and take the train? 
  5. (really 4b) it turns out that the train is very expensive. 
  6. We don't have a choice so why fret about 4a? 
  7. There were no seats on the train until Chicago. 
  8. I drove 700 miles yesterday to get us from DC to Chicago to get on the train (retina detachment makes it hard to split the driving.)
  9. Our family doesn't know we took the train because the groom was worried about his dad's eye so our early arrival will be stealthy. (don''t tell)
  10. At least all this is distracting me from the sentimental squishiness that keeps sneaking up on me. 
  11.   You are now ready to return to the present where 

Rick and I are in the Metropolitan Lounge at Union Station in Chicago waiting for the Southwest Chief.  You can see the route above.  Actually I'm more excited than annoyed – it is something we would have never done if we didn't need to.  I can't picture the accommodations – I'm betting on a cross between all those black and white thrillers where people were always chasing each other up and down the aisles and flirting in the bed-sitting rooms and who knows what.  We'll see.  Meanwhile we're in the lounge with about a billion people on an "America by Train" group, with some smoker's coughs, name tags for all, and a pretty friendly environment.  I'm too tired to be friendly though.  Unusual for me.

I will try to post this afternoon but they don't have wireless on the train (WHAAAAT????) and I'm having trouble pairing my blackberry so it's a bit sketchy.  If I can't post I'll keep a diary and post it when I can.   Wish us luck.