Well the Blogging Boomers have returned after a Labor Day respite and we are loaded with remarkable new content. It’s all housed over at John Agno’s So Baby Boomer. There are plenty of political links, but also some interesting perspectives on retirements and aging, spiritual retreats,religious belief, marriage and the 5-th birthday of AARP. So don’t miss it.
Category: WOMEN
IS THIS THE COUNTRY WE WANT? SARAH PALIN’S CRUEL ADDRESS
Before I say anything else, I want to show you this great response to Gov. Palin. Take the time to watch it.
I started this post last night but waited to post it until I cooled off and now I’m glad, because there are so many thoughtful responses from people who have gone beyond the rage I have been feeling. The first is the above video response from Nerdette. For some reason the mocking of community organizers was particularly painful to me. Of course since I’ve been listening to The People Have the Power for days now I guess that’s not a surprise.
I also recommend. thanks to a tweet from Pundit Mom, the ever-wise Gloria Steinem’s response in the Los Angeles Times, which includes this: It
won’t work. This isn’t the first time a boss has picked an unqualified
woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most
other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job
for one woman. It’s about making life more fair for women everywhere.
It’s not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us
for that. It’s about baking a new pie.
Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer
by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard
Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton.
Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmeticize
a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates
as female, a presidential candidate who is owned and operated by the
right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton’s
candidacy stood for — and that Barack Obama’s still does. To vote in
protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, "Somebody stole my
shoes, so I’ll amputate my legs."
My good friend Mocha Momma offers some very personal yet universal and policy-based observations – YES you can be personal – as SP was – and still think about policy — as Mocha did. Here’s a sample but go read the whole thing. She’s a wonderful person and educator whose commitment to schools in underserved neighborhoods is profound. She scoffed at Obama’s community organizing and pushed for her own
small town agenda. You know what I heard in that thinly veiled line?
Her lack of experience with people of color and the power of community
organization. She doesn’t know cities or poverty that way or even what
that does for education. She is keeping that dividing line bold and
prominent by letting me see what she thinks about that: small town =
hard-working white farming families vs. city/community = blacks and
latinos and asians and other people she knows nothing about. She so wasn’t talking to me.
More from a Daily Kos-ite, noted by Soapbox Mom or try this one if you just want a laugh.
OK I can’t hide any longer. Here’s me talking. I’ve been around a lot of political campaigns and presidencies. I remember Spiro Agnew and his vicious attacks on the press — many other Republican "red meat" speeches and Democratic ones too. But I don’t remember anything like this (except Pat Buchanan in 1992 but that was different.) Cruelty, sarcasm, disguised bigotry, language so beyond the appropriate, in my view, that it was breathtaking. Literally.
In Mocha Momma’s post there’s a link to a New York Times piece on Palin’s time as mayor of Wasilla. Here’s a taste:
Shortly
after becoming mayor, former city officials and Wasilla residents said,
Ms. Palin approached the town librarian about the possibility of
banning some books, though she never followed through and it was
unclear which books or passages were in question.
Ann Kilkenny, a
Democrat who said she attended every City Council meeting in Ms.
Palin’s first year in office, said Ms. Palin brought up the idea of
banning some books at one meeting. “They were somehow morally or
socially objectionable to her,” Ms. Kilkenny said.
The librarian,
Mary Ellen Emmons, pledged to “resist all efforts at censorship,” Ms.
Kilkenny recalled. Ms. Palin fired Ms. Emmons shortly after taking
office but changed course after residents made a strong show of
support. Ms. Emmons, who left her job and Wasilla a couple of years
later, declined to comment for this article.
If you have read Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, you’ve seen a society in which these values were completely in control. Not only government control of women’s bodies but a government of rage, male-domination and the absence of liberty. Of course not even these folks can take us that far but every time we get into one of these periods it’s all I can think about.
Someone on Twitter last night wrote: When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." Sinclair Lewis
OK. So that’s why this song says so much. It has to.
Bristol Palin, Sarah, Paula Jones and a Question of What’s Right
I’ve started three new posts today trying to avoid writing about Bristol Palin. I don’t think I can. But I’m going to borrow someone else’s words, someone who has said it so much better than I could. The link in this piece came from the always wise Jill Miller Zimon, whose blog Writes Like She Talks is sharp and smart. She’s among those posting really thoughtful ideas about this very sad situation.
I’m as concerned as many of my peers about the choice issue and the complicated role it plays here; just as troubled by much of this candidacy and the tragic exposure of a very young woman to a national furor. My biggest problem though, is with what I see as the (noisy but far from majority) inappropriate writing and speculating about this family. In my mind, these attacks run a real risk of ending up as a "brie v beer" class war, and we’re not like that. We shouldn’t sound like we are. It’s the same feeling I had during the Paula Jones debacle when people wrote about her as "trailer park trash." Whatever the substance of either Jones or Palin, or this pregnant young woman, what’s been going on: trashing Sarah Palin for going back to work after her child was born, implying that if she’d been a better mother this pregnancy might never have happened… interpreting her values as "redneck" — is dangerous. I’m old enough to remember when conservatives talked like that – fought against all our efforts for equal pay, for non-mommy track hiring, for not only abortion rights but also contraception — all of it.
As I said though, Richard C. Harwood has written what I think is a very thoughtful piece about this potential battle – an unwinnable one, I fear. Here are two of the best quotes but you really should read the whole thing.
Moreover, I have said that I
know two families with specials needs kids where both parents work, and where
there is so much love and affection that I would be more than willing to have
my own two kids join those families. Further, I have wondered aloud why
stay-at-home dads who were once professionals are okay, but not Palin’s
husband. . . .
Let me be clear: I am not defending
Sarah Palin. To me, there is some virtue in her selection, but also the
rolling of dice. But how we talk this choice is just as important as our final
judgment. Why? Because so many of us want a different kind of politics in
America, a politics that is more reflective of reality, more thoughtful, and
more hopeful. We want a politics that transcends Red States and Blue States. We
want a politics that encourages honest and tough debate, but not unnecessary
discord and divisiveness. Now is our chance.
In 1984, I worked for Walter Mondale
when he nominated Rep. Geraldine Ferraro as his choice for Vice President. Of
course, the initial burst of excitement for Ferraro dissipated quickly as she
found herself mired in family problems, with Mondale losing in a landslide.
While Palin’s selection and her running mate may take a similar route, the race
is still far from over. But no matter what, my question is, what route will you
take?
There is so much we all want to say. How we say it, though, could make all the difference.
HILLARY SUPPORTERS AND THE OBAMA CAMPAIGN: DON’T DO THIS!
This is breaking my heart. Why is it that we Democrats are incapable of NOT shooting ourselves in the foot (feet even)? In my view (and I’m hardly alone in this) this may be the most critical election of my lifetime. I’ve written (are you sick of it yet?) about the parallels to 1968 when the refusal of many anti-war voters to show up at the polls and vote for Hubert Humphrey brought us Richard Nixon and a cascade of disaster. That could and most likely will happen again if we don’t all pull ourselves together.
I heard a commentator quote — I thought Jefferson but can’t find the source — “True democracy means acceptance of defeat by one vote.” Sounds right, doesn’t it? But there is what we wish were true and there is political reality, and the reality this year is that every moment of hesitation by Senator Clinton’s supporters puts another barrier between Senator Obama and the White House. My most-respected friend PunditMom has a very smart analysis of where all this antipathy is coming from. And there’s a survey of much of the conversation in Lisa Stone’s summary at BlogHer.
As I write this I think about the suffragists who won us the right to have this fight in the first place just 88 years ago. What would they think now? They were willing to stand up to those who asked them to halt their campaign until WWI was over. Should women have the same singular focus now — placing their anger ahead of the outcome of this election? Is the injustice so great that it justifies putting another conservative Republican in the White House?
I think not. Our sisters will do us a disservice that will last a very long time if they continue to stand in the way of an Obama victory or even just sit on their hands, because that will betray women who are at the bottom of the power pile, raising children alone, struggling for childcare, lacking health insurance, vacation or sick leave and any kind of job security. Feminists rightly say that “every issue is a women’s issue” and that means that every decision in a McCain administration will have a heavy impact on these women, and on the rest of us.
Beyond that, in my view, the perils of an anti-choice administration that will nominate judges like those who overrode violence against women laws in Virginia and frequently support employers over women seeking redress to sexual harassment or other discrimination, an Administration that will carry on the Bush foreign policy and continue to decimate our constitutional rights — oh – you know the list — those perils outweigh any grievance.
So if sisterhood is powerful, let those whose hearts are broken by the Clinton loss recall their sisters who need so much – and consider how little their interests would be served if Barack Obama does not prevail. On this, Women’s Equality Day, let them ease their pain with the knowledge that they will help on “every issue” and therefore every “women’s issue” if they can move past the pain of their defeat and see to it that our country itself is not defeated too.
THE FIRST TIME EVER….
Thanks to Lawyer Mama over at Momocrats for posting this. I just had to put it here too.
By the way, there is great coverage coming from women at Momocrats and BlogHer. Check it out – they’re doing a great job!
TRIUMPH IS EXPENSIVE: HONORING MY FRIEND RACHEL
She’s a tiny powerhouse, hair in ringlets, face of an angel, but
when she wants something to happen, woe unto those who stand in her
way. Her name is Rachel, and because of her, we’re all a lot safer
than we were yesterday. Really. Safer.
One of the things we discover as years pass is just how much
discipline, determination and talent it takes to win a big battle.
People who win show up on the front page, on the evening news, in
Talking Points Memo… all over the place. It looks so great to be the
one taking the bow. Most of the time, nobody knows what it took to get
there. Can’t imagine, and probably, don’t care. But I know. And I
care.
Continue reading TRIUMPH IS EXPENSIVE: HONORING MY FRIEND RACHEL
DON’T MISS IT: BLOGGING BOOMERS CARNIVAL #81
The fabulous Blogging Boomer Carnival – the 81st in fact – has
landed here at Don’t Gel Too Soon. And a real feast it is.
As the Baby Boomer generation approaches retirement age, over 7.7 million business
owners will exit their businesses over the next 10-15 years. John Agno at
So Baby Boomer says this demonstrates a tremendous need for exit planning.
And while we’re talking money, two more posts this week.
This comes from Janet Wendy at Gen Plus: If, like
much of America, you are sick of watching your dollar shrinking, Janet Wendy at
Gen Plus, points you to an eye-opening post on what banks are NOT doing with your money. Oh…and be
careful. You might bust a seam laughing.
And this from Ann Harrison at Contemporary Retirement: Although
we’ve always been told that money can’t buy happiness, an increasing number of
studies show that, if you know the right way to spend it, money just may be
able to buy you happiness after all… Find
out how at Contemporary Retirement:
Boomer Chronicles has noticed something interesting about this
year’s Olympics: "A number of athletes in the Beijing
Olympics are older than the usual crop." She’s profiled some of
them. In the Northwest Arkansas area where
I make my home, that was the case with every community. Unfortunately, it is
also the case that every one of them has closed.
If you’re looking for someone
else to fix things, Laurel Lee at Midlife Crisis Queen says
"Cut it out." No one else can change your life for you, no matter how
much you pay them."
“Spiritual work is not something you can copy from someone else’s
homework…."
One of those things you have to do for yourself is keep a marriage going. Dina at This Marriage Thing says: "Counselors say marriages are
strengthened by honest talking. But when was the last time you
really communicated with your spouse? Here are a couple of
questions that might do the trick."
If that doesn’t work, and you’re facing the end of a marriage, Wesley Hein at
LifeTwo offers an important consideration: In a divorce, who gets custody of mutual
friends? This moral dilemma is discussed
in "The
Post-Divorce Custody Battle for Mutual Friends". Make no mistake about
it, in divorce every aspect of your life changes–including friendships.
On a lighter note, no matter what the status of the rest of your life, you can fix your hair. If you color your hair, then you know how the blazing summer sun and chlorine
pools can really fade and damage your hair. Is there anything you can do about
it, short of wearing a hat? Check out what the Glam Gals have to say about it at Fabulous after 40.
Our friends over at Vaboomers have an interesting offering too – a
kind of online mall they call "viosks"
–sort of online kiosks offering art, music, cookies — lots. As they put
it: "Vaboomer is excited to announce the Grand Opening of Vaboomer Viosks on Aug 8; A Suite of
“Viosks" with the best of Boomer reFiree’s original art, books, music and
education."
pensive one – about a Jewish holiday with a huge emotional punch.
BLOG THE RECESSION
The economy’s slow, even on the Internet, so one of my favorite (and most audacious) bloggers, "Motherhood Uncensored," has come up with a solution: blog the recession. Here’s how she explains it: "The premise is simple. If you read blogs, then for the month of
August, make the "pledge" to click through from your feed reader. No
obligation to leave a hilarious comment or send a long stalkerish email
(although both, within reason, are always lovely). Just click through
to the blog (not on ads unless you are so led) and if you’re feeling
generous, click around to their older posts. Just those extra page views can make a big
difference for bloggers who could really use the help, or in my case,
where page views don’t matter so much, a big fat ego boost."
So while you’re on hold, or just kind of wandering, do a good deed and click around a bit.
BlogHer, Bella, Books and Us Women
Two weeks ago I spent the weekend with 1,000 remarkable women. You know where; the Web has been full of posts and tweets and messages about BlogHer, the women bloggers conference. Since its founding, BlogHer has held four conferences, and I’ve been to three of them. For those three years I’ve wondered at the strength and power of both the gathering and each woman, most far younger than I, who is part of it. Audacious and rambunctious, honest and gifted, they are far beyond where I was at their age. I’ve always known that all of us, sisters from the 70’s and 80’s and 90’s, scratched and kicked and pulled and fought to move our lives, and those of the women around us, forward. In many ways, we made a difference. I’m proud of that.
Today though I was reminded of a real heroine, one whose star lit the way for much of what we did, in a wonderful piece in The Women’s Review of Books: Ruth Rosen‘s review of Bella Abzug: How One Tough Broad from the Bronx Fought
Jim Crow and Joe McCarthy, Pissed Off Jimmy Carter, Battled for the
Rights of Women and Workers, … Planet, and Shook Up Politics Along
the Way–an oral history of the life of Bella Abzug. Among other things, Ruth says:
She fought for the
rights of union workers and African Americans, protested the use of the atomic
bomb and the Vietnam War, waged endless battles to advance women’s rights, and
spent the last years of her life promoting environmentalism and human rights.
When she plunged into the women’s movement during the late 1960s, Abzug infused
feminism with her fierce, strategic, take-no-prisoners spirit. As Geraldine
Ferraro reminds us,
She didn’t knock lightly on the door. She didn’t even push it open or batter it
down. She took it off the hinges forever! So that those of us who came after
could walk through!
And with a bow to Bella and so many others, walk through we have. It’s tough to pass the stories ‘I walked six miles to school in the snow’
fogey. Younger women, though, would find courage to fight their own
battles in Bella’s story and in many of our own."
For me, Bella was a brave, untamed beacon of defiance and energy. Her story, and ours, laid the ground for these determined, gifted "blogger generation" women. I would so love to be able to tell them about her – and about all of us, just so they could know the solidarity, the battles, the anger and the hope. And why seeing them all together, hugging, laughing and raising hell, makes me so damned happy. And that Bella would have loved them.
MARRIAGE, TRADITION AND MY MOTHER’S WEDDING RING
This is the hand of my soon-to-be daughter-in-law. The ring on her finger is 65 years old. At least. I know this because it was my mother’s wedding ring, which she wore until she died, and which I have worn ever since. And now, another generation of our family will wear it as a wedding ring. It’s a joy for me and symbolic of so much: continuity, Amy’s acceptance of us as part of her life, her respect for Josh’s origins, and, as she readily acknowledges, a love of tradition and history.
When your child decides to get married; it’s a big deal. New configurations must be established as two families converge: new sensibilities, new rituals and traditions. More important than all of that though is the wish, the hope, the prayer, that these two people, one of whom you have loved with your whole heart since he entered the world and one you have learned to love — that they will find happiness, the strength to weather inevitable storms, a continuation of the laughter and friendship they so clearly share, of the closeness each feels with siblings and parents, and as much joy as can be apportioned to them.
Seeing this ring, part of my own family since before I was, moving forward in this way, means all those things, stands for everything eternal that we seek and sometimes find. It’s a gift beyond measure to me and to the family we’ve been and the one we, and they, are still becoming.