SO LONG TIM. ALL THE NICE THINGS WE’VE BEEN SAYING ABOUT YOU WERE TRUE – AND IT’S NOT FAIR – NOT AT ALL

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I worked at NBC News, at the TODAY SHOW for nine years, and for much of that time, I was lucky enough to work with Tim Russert.  The picture on the left was one of the few I could find that showed that great, mischievous expression that meant we were going to have fun so even if it’s not a DC kind of photo, it’s the one I like best.

I first met Tim when he still worked with Mario Cuomo., on the Democratic Convention floor in 1984 when Cuomo electrified the crowd and I chased Tim, whom I’d never met, half way out to the parking lot to get a promise that the Governor would be on the show the next day.  He was psyched, hyped and way too busy but he was also adorable and very sweet as we worked to get  things organized.

So when he came to NBC and went to work on getting the Vatican to let us come and do a week of shows in Rome, including time with the Pope, I watched Tim play it out.  He worked with Cardinal Kroll in Philadelphia and with one of his colleagues who worked in the Vatican and somehow we got our on-the-air mass with Pope John Paul II and a Philadelphia Catholic school boys choir sang on the TODAY SHOW.  Who but Tim would have made that happen?

There’s not much I can say that hasn’t been said; I couldn’t write sooner because my kids were visiting for the weekend and I wasn’t being very bloggy.  But as the news broke, my younger son called from the airport. He was really sad.  I’d forgotten how lovely Tim was to Dan, who was around 6 when they met.  Treated him like a cool guy, gave him an NBC baseball cap that I think he still has, teased him guy to guy.  When I went over to deliver our bassinet after Luke arrived Dan came along and this new daddy still had time for a bit of a conversation with a six year old. AND to show us a tape of Willard Scott announcing Luke’s birth on the show.

All week people have been talking about Tim’s love of politics.  That was true; and he mined every subtle message and decision for meaning and impact. But he had another quality that was even more valuable in a journalist: a contagious enthusiasm for living that made each story part of a grand adventure.  He brought everyone in his orbit along with him — sharing energy and laughter, competition that was fierce but never mean and a real belief in both the fun and the importance of journalism in a democracy.

I moved to LA and we mostly lost touch – although he did send a Meet the Press baseball cap in response to a note I sent him.  It made me feel remembered – as it was meant to.  It was the kind of gesture that’s been in the stories people have been telling all week — it’s just that this one’s mine.  And since I’m not one of the rock stars who have been telling these stories all week, just someone he worked with, I’m hoping it will demonstrate the genuine niceness of this guy.  Really.

There’s a wake tomorrow and I’m going to try to go.  I’m betting that there will be a mob scene there but I’d just like to show respect for a moment or two.   I’ve seen so many of us writing about this very sad thing; I’ll say a bit of a goodbye for all of us.

BLOGGING BOOMERS BLOG CARNIVAL – JUNE 2: VACATIONS, GAS PRICES, MOMS AND HEALTH

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Blogging Boomers are back at I Remember JFK this week.  You can read about everything from saving gas by figuring out the "walkability" of your next apartment, to child-free vacations to prostate cancer.  All it smart, unique and useful.  Stop on by.

WEDDINGS, INDY, CARRIE BRADSHAW AND ME (SPOILER ALERT – BIG HINTS ABOUT SATC ENDING)

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I went to see Sex and the City tonight with a group of women in their 20’s, much younger than Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda.  I’m older than all of them.  They liked it, thought it was disorganized, or OK, or so-so or good.  I loved it. 

As I tried to explain why, I got strangely emotional, struggling to describe how Samantha’s 50th birthday, the remarkable relationship shared by these four friends, the happy endings and the fairy tale aura, just made me happy.  It’s tough to measure the impact of experience on a life perspective, or the different perspective of those just beginning to accumulate those experiences; good friends who are young adults newly married or newly parents – still far from my place as the mother of grown sons.

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This, the film’s opening weekend, saw it push Indiana Jones out of first place.  I’ve complained a great deal about the latest Indy movie.  My husband emailed our older son that the movie "sucked."  He responded that he had loved, it, that it was just "one big comic book."  Clearly, he felt the same way I’d felt about the girls of Sex and the City. As he put it, with his usual wisdom "I guess everything is a matter of perspective."

Continue reading WEDDINGS, INDY, CARRIE BRADSHAW AND ME (SPOILER ALERT – BIG HINTS ABOUT SATC ENDING)

CHARMED, AGAIN. AND PROBABLY NOT FOR THE LAST TIME

Charmed_may_2008NOTICE:  YOU MAY NEED INSULIN TO READ THIS – IT IS REALLY SAPPY — CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED

Right now, I’m crying.  Not just teary, crying.  Right now, the third time I’ve been to this moment.  It’s so embarrassing that until I complete this post I don’t even know if I’ll ever let you see it.  Why such emotion on a sunny day so close to my birthday?  Over a television show?  The final epsiode of one that went off the air in 2006.  One that’s about witches?

If, like me, you never paid much attention to CHARMED, appearing on the now-defunct and youth-oriented WB – about three sisters who are witches and who have witchy powers including, when acting together with the “power of three”, to best Ultimate Evil (I know, I know), let me tell you a bit about them.  I’ve written about them before – when I first found them two years ago and again almost a year ago, after a wedding whose ritual reminded me of theirs, even though in theirs families gather from across the divide between living and dead.  As I wrote then:

On my favorite guilty pleasure, Charmed, rituals of birth and marriage are attended not only by those who share the lives and loves of the Halliwell sisters (yeah they’re witches and their story spent 8 TV seasons enchanting us all) but also by those who came before. They summon, “through space and time”  all members of “the Halliwell line.”  Surrounded by these translucent figures of past
generations, today’s Halliwells celebrate marriages and new arrivals. Those fully and those ephemerally present conclude together “blessed be.”

What does this have to do with Jewish weddings — or any other terrestrial weddings for that matter?  A lot.  Eight years on the air, the longest running show with female leads, it dealt often with travel through time and space and dominions never imagined.  But when really important events arose, all the magic was supplanted by a single, simple spell that basically –well — brought the family together.

I just looked the show up on Wikipedia and discovered that it went off the air on my 60th birthday – having run from October 7, 1998 to May 21, 2006.  My
husband, when he’s in psychiatrist mode, talks about “anniversary reactions” – when we experience deep feelings but can’t quite figure out where they come from.  Sometimes, they have to do with the occurrence of anniversaries we haven’t even noticed have arrived.  In this case, though, I didn’t know the year the show ended, much less the date.  In fact, I was in Paris with my family to celebrate this 60th birthday landmark on that day and didn’t even notice the demise of the long-running  series.  In fact, I first discovered it, in re-runs, airing as I worked in my office.  I used it to keep me company (believe it or not, it’s on four hours a day – two in the morning and two in the afternoon.)  Didn’t know a thing about the show or its success.

I got an earful from one of my sons when I asked though, who claimed that the show caused plenty of  fights with his (then) girlfriend.  Apparently, it was on at the same time as the Simpsons and every week was a negotiation.

But for me it’s somehow more than that.  These three sisters, and their powers, are deeply moving.  Their battles and solidarity, their humor and courage, their conviction that they could literally save the world from evil (p.s., they did) all resonated in a very weird way.  Still do.

Hence the tears.  The final episode, as the post-show future unfolds, feels like my own life.  Endings.  Loving farewells.  The (hopefully) gratification of recognizing a life at least partially well-lived.  The kids and their kids and an idyllic togetherness among sisters and their husbands and their children and their destiny.  A lot to hope for and, I guess, as my own life moves forward, something to cry about.

 

SUMMER DRESSES, 60S TV, MARRIAGE, CRUMBLING BRIDGES AND OBAMA: ALL PART OF BLOGGING BOOMERS CARNIVAL #71!

So_baby_boomerThis week the Carnival stops at John Agno’s So Baby Boomer.  If you want to read about "green" cars, summer dresses, good marriages, TV for all us 40+ folks, our crumbling infrastructure or Barack Obama, you can get there from this inventory of our latests efforts.  Take a look.

HOPING FOR A DIFFERENT ENDING: “RECOUNT” ON HBO

Recountlogo01 I can remember reading Doris Kearns Goodwin‘s wonderful No Ordinary Time, about the World War II years in the White House: FDR, Churchill, Eleanor – it’s a wonderful, inspiring story and forever changed my understanding of leadership.  I read the book on tape, mostly in my car. As I came to the book’s end, and the death of President Roosevelt, I drove around so that I could finish it.  All the while, I kept hoping — "maybe this time he won’t die."   Totally irrational but still – that was what I felt  And I didn’t feel it again until tonight, as I watched  Kevin Spacey, Tom Wilkinson, Laura Dern and Denis Leary in HBO‘s Recount, the story of the 2000 presidential election battle in Florida.
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Reviews have reminded us that the story has been "altered" for dramatic reasons even though it’s presented as a docudrama.   There may be more drama and less docu than historians would wish, — but the basic reality is there – and from the perspective of 8 years and the traumas of the Bush Administration, very painful to watch.  In some ways it’s like watching a car accident about to happen – in slow motion — and not being able to do a thing to stop it.  Here’s a little bit of it:

 

Continue reading HOPING FOR A DIFFERENT ENDING: “RECOUNT” ON HBO

THE OBAMA LANDMARK: RACIAL ATTITUDES ON MY BIRTHDAY

Obama_older_ladyToday is my 62nd birthday.  It’s pretty amazing.  Not only am I, while still healthy and not rickety, able to witness a Democratic primary where a white woman (for the first time) and an African-American man (for the first time) are the major Democratic Presidential candidates.  Not only am I, while still healthy and not rickety, able to witness the probable nomination of the 46 year old product of an interracial marriage, who has lived outside the U.S. in the developing world, and who is running on a platform of unity and commitment to helping our country have a better future.  AND who is the first candidate to sit for a video interview with BlogHer, thus demonstrating a comprehension of women who blog — and those women who read them.

Not only that.  This morning, half-awake, watching C-Span footage of the Obama Iowa rally last night, I saw a nice white Iowa lady of a certain age, like the one in this photo, put one hand on either site of Obama’s face and kiss him on the forehead.  And it wasn’t even a big deal.

You need to realize that in my lifetime as someone old enough to notice – probably the past 40 years — that would have been unthinkable.  That a highly regarded TV drama was canceled after one season because it featured a white male and black female social worker working together and stations across the south refused to carry it.  Slowly, as the Civil Rights movement brought us forward, things changed.  And here, I’m really only talking about symbols – not all those individual life moments that remain so difficult for so many. I believe that when symbols change, real change will follow.  And some of that appears to be true.

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In September of 1967 Peggy Rusk, daughter of then Secretary of State Dean Rusk, married Guy Smith – and it was so unusual it made the cover of TIME Magazine.  Which wrote this:

Resignation  Offer. As recently as 1948, California law would have made the union a criminal offense in the state. Until last June, when the U.S.
Supreme Court killed Virginia’s miscegenation law, 16 states still banned interracial marriage. More to the
point, and more poignant, in a year when black-white animosity has reached a
violent crescendo in the land, two young people and their parents showed that
separateness is far from the sum total of race relations in the U.S.—that to
the marriage of true minds, color should be no impediment. Indrawn as usual,
Rusk pronounced himself “very pleased.” Clarence Smith, Guy’s father,
said simply: “Two people in love.”

That’s right – Rusk offered to resign because of the wedding – that was
how unusual it was.  In the early 90s I visited a high school
near Cincinnati, OH, which was once KKK country.  I was producing a “space
bridge” — a satellite conversation between high schools in Ohio and Moscow.  The night
before the show I gave a reception for the families of the kids featured
in the program.  As they wandered in, there in the middle of Ohio, I noticed that one couple was comprised of a white man and an African American woman.  Apparently I was the only one who did though.  One of the boys’ parents had divorced and his dad had married this woman who was now the kids’ stepmom.  And in the middle of semi-rural Ohio, close to the Kentucky border, nobody cared.  I guess you’d need to have been around for canceled TV shows and Secretaries of State offers to resign, to be so struck by what happened.

Fast forward to the Grammys, 1990, this winning song and video, with this kiss.


I guess it’s just that we forget how bad things used to be; a kiss like Neville and Ronstadt’s once could ruin both careers.

There’s lots more. But what does all this have to do with a presidential candidate? In Iowa?  I don’t know why but as I watched this morning I was so struck by the changes I’ve seen in my lifetime.  Probably it’s just the birthday.  Whatever happens in the campaign, and I am worried about the race stuff that came out of Kentucky and West Virginia, it was a reminder that at least things are better than they were before.  OH and last week I read that there has not been a white male Secretary of State in the US for 11 years!  Nobody’s been yelling about that, either.

TOO MANY WOMEN DOCTORS? ARE YOU SERIOUS? DON’T YOU WATCH GREY’S ANATOMY?

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OK now I’m mad!  I have a pretty high tolerance for media assumptions and misrepresentations unfair to those of us who are female.  I do.  Really.  But I think I’ve hit the wall.  Listen to this, from Business Week this week (here’s a hint – the article is called "Are There Too Many
Women Doctors?" ) The premise – there’s a doctor shortage in the US and: 
This looming shortage is forcing into the open a controversy that has
been cautiously debated in hospitals and medical practices for some time: Are
women doctors part of the problem? It’s
not the abilities of female doctors that are in question. It’s that study after
study has found women doctors tend to work 20% to 25% fewer hours than their
male counterparts.

What to discuss first?  That those who work that additional 20-25% probably work too hard?  That resentments build
up in their spouses and children that never go away.  That the "problem" is in reality a grand improvement achieved through the work and suffering of a generation of women who fought their way through medical school, internships and fellowships and now use their knowledge both to take care of people and to still live a life of their own. Shocking!

Continue reading TOO MANY WOMEN DOCTORS? ARE YOU SERIOUS? DON’T YOU WATCH GREY’S ANATOMY?

SELLING THE PENTAGON, SELLING THE WAR IN IRAQ, SELLING THEIR HONOR

Selling_of_the_pentagonIn 1971, when I worked at CBS News in Washington, the network
aired a documentary called The Selling of the PentagonThe Museum of Broadcasting  website says:  "The
aim of this film, produced by Peter Davis, was to examine the increasing
utilization and cost to the taxpayers of public relations activities by the
military-industrial complex in order to shape public opinion in favor of the
military." 
The Congress tried to cite CBS for contempt – it was
a real drama.  In his book The Place to Be, my mentor
Roger Mudd tells the whole story better than I ever could – he was the
correspondent on the award-winning program.  Despite all that happened,
there was real satisfaction in knowing that the film had made a difference –
that our defense dollars would go to protect and support our soldiers, not a
military PR campaign.

Ah, but like all good news, it was short-lived.  Maybe not too short – we
made it to 2008 — but the whole thing is back – and because it’s about Iraq
and Guantanamo this time, not just some recruiting and appropriations
manipulation, it’s far more malignant.

Sunday, the New York Times reported on the courtship of
those military "experts" who show up on the TODAY SHOW and NIGHTLINE
and CNN to tell us the facts behind our country’s military initiatives.

To the public, these men are members of a familiar
fraternity, presented tens of thousands of times on television and radio as
“military analysts” whose long service has equipped them to give authoritative
and unfettered judgments about the most pressing issues of the post-Sept. 11
world.

Hidden behind that appearance of
objectivity, though, is a Pentagon information apparatus that has used those
analysts in a campaign to generate favorable news coverage of the
administration’s wartime performance
, an examination by The New York Times has
found.

The effort, which began with the buildup to the Iraq war and continues to this day, has sought to exploit
ideological and military allegiances, and also a powerful financial dynamic:
Most of the analysts have ties to military contractors vested in the very war
policies they are asked to assess on air.

Those business relationships are hardly ever
disclosed to the viewers, and sometimes not even to the networks themselves. But
collectively, the men on the plane and several dozen other military analysts
represent more than 150 military contractors either as lobbyists, senior executives,
board members or consultants.

Of course, this one is a little different – these
guys are consultants to the media, and while the Pentagon enables their
"expertise" and offers the heft of the tours of Guantanamo and classified briefings, their money comes from their lucrative  consultancies with military vendors, not from the Pentagon directly.  But think about it.  If we really
were manipulated; if the arguments for the Iraq war were as flawed as we now believe, then these consultants — follow the bread crumbs — are at least partly responsible for the attitudes that permitted the war to take place and discouraged many of those who might have stopped it
I don’t know about you, but when I hear stories
about Abu Ghraib and the things that
were done in our names, and think of how little I’ve done to instigate change,
resting instead on the actions of my youth. I think about all the Germans who
said the "didn’t know" what was going on.  I don’t mean that a
few soldiers, none of whose leaders has been prosecuted and who are taking the
rap for things that went way beyond them — are the equivalent of Nazi
Germany.  That would be stupid and facile.  What I am saying is that
the horrible things that emerged from this war are on all our heads – and that
these guys whose testimony to us via countless talking head interviews
legitimized what was going on, enabled it all.

The reason I started with The Selling of the
Pentagon
is that it’s such a lesson.  Whatever change we help to
implement won’t last – Abolitionist Wendell Phillips was
right when he said that "eternal vigilance is the price of
liberty."   In 1971 the documentary outraged Americans who
demanded change.  Today we still recall the events at Abu Ghraib the same
way – with a deep and painful sense of outrage.  Once again, on our watch
this time, bad things have been done in our names.
Once again, dissemblers reign.  The consequences of their betrayal,
whether the story is true or not, are tragically visible.  Once again —
our hearts are broken.  Once again – we must share the blame for what
happened there.

Once again, whatever is left of our better angels
looks warily about, frightened, silenced, sad and ashamed.

 

NEW FRIENDS ON MY OLD TURF: MOMMY BLOGGERS VISIT KATIE AT CBS NEWS

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What are the odds?  I spent what would have been my prime mommy-blogging years, before the Interweb was anyone’s darling, working at CBS News at 524 West 57th St.  Now, some of my sweet, funny mommy blogging friends went through the same door I used every day for 7 years to meet with Katie Couric.  Here’s what happened:

Pretty cool, huh?  My 9 years at TODAY never crossed with Katie and clearly my CBS years were the "Place to Be" years, well before hers but it sure was fun to see the girlfriends sashay on in and charm her to pieces.  But then, that’s what they do.

Blogger roll call for The Visit – drawn from original host SV(Silicon Valley) Moms: