Current Affairs – Page 34 – Don't Gel Too Soon

MORE BLOGGER ETHICS THOUGHTS

THIS IS FROM MORRA’S VERY FINE AND ALWAYS THOUGHTFUL WOMEN AND WORK BLOG, IN A POST ENTITLED: "With all due respect Cindy." Comments are closed on this post so I’m quoting her post here and then posting a response.

MORRA: "First off, I don’t have a Typekey account, so I am going to do a trackback instead.
Cindy Samuels, who is brilliant, is wrong on this post:"
“One of my favorite bloggers sent me a note asking my opinion about a service that pays bloggers to write about client products. It’s not secret, the writers disclose their contracts. Even so, I told her that as an old newsie, I thought that, unless she was desperate for money, she shouldn’t go near the idea. WHY?”
AFTER THE QUOTE, SHE ADDED"Journalists do endorsements, why can’t I? Not that anyone’s asking, of course."

Morra, who unlike me really IS brilliant, asks a fair question. But I don’t think reputable journalists endorse products. They don’t do commercials and use their own language to sell products. If they are busy selling in the context of their coverage – or we are, in the context of our blogs, then why should anyone believe us about anything? How do they know which things are paid for and which are not? When is a blog a blog and when does it become solely a marketing tool?

I may be showing my age, since I was trained as a reporter long ago, but I shudder to think of the consequences of putting PAID ad copy into a post. Let’s keep this conversation going – I respect Morra too much to do anything but think harder about this…..

SIM SHALOM (Grant Peace)

My friend Cooper, who helped so many people in the days after Hurricane Katrina continues her deep, principled search for good. She’s posted a meditation on the resurrection of Another Mother for Peace and her hope that moms can make the difference in bringing us closer to an end to war.

Rather than comment here, I send you to my comment on her site. As usual she is insightful and hopeful — take a look and then move down to what I said there — which best sums up my less optimistic view. I do know that if Cooper has anything to do about it, my pessimism will be misplaced. If you haven’t been to her blog, go there even if this issue isn’t what speaks to you.

WINE, WOMEN AND PLAY DATES (Yeah I’m late on this)

I must have been one of the last people on the planet to hear about this ruckus — a profile of mothers together at the swing set, pushing the kids with glasses of wine in hand. As I read in Her Bad Mother, the story appeared on my old alma mater THE TODAY SHOW, where I worked for nine proud and happy years. I don’t know whether I’m more upset with the content of the story, the reaction or the fact that TODAY is, generally, so much less substantial than it was when I worked there. ADD THIS: I just read most of the back story to all this at the source: Melissa Summers’ Suburban Bliss. If even part of it is true (and I have no reason to doubt any of it) then it’s far more a scandal about television than it is about drinking and moms. PLEASE READ THIS. It also includes links to many comments on the matter.

As I said before I read Melissa’s very troubling post, "This story looked unbalanced to me – at least the video did, so I was glad to learn from Jenn Satterwhite’s Mommy Bloggers post that TODAY is planning a follow-up on Friday." In the mean time take a look at what Catherine (Her Bad Mother) and others (Google Blog Search turned up dozens of posts) have had to say about this. I want to watch the follow-up before I say anything. I lived around bad alcohol issues at one point in my life and am very sensitive to the issue so am remaining silent for now.

PLEASE COMMENT though if you have thoughts about this.

LIVING ON THE EDGE – FUTURE TENSE

Some radical thoughts about the future from people who actually might know what they’re talking about: I have always been fascinated by the smart, smart people who live from the center to the edge of the cyberthinker world. Because I was present in LA for much of the early conference/thinker gatherings when they weren’t so exclusive and you could get a press pass if you knew your way around reporter vocabulary, I met many of them — often humbling but exhilarating experiences.

Over the years one of their most resourceful thinkers, John Brockman, has built a foundation called The Edge, where thinkers gather to "ask each other the questions they are asking themselves." The annual question founder Brockman has asked this community of thinkers (albeit more than 6 times more men than women) is "What Are Your Optimistic About? Why?" It’s worth a look. Some of those I know the most about, and respect, whose ideas might intrigue, include Whole Earth Catalogue publisher Stuart Brand, Microsoft pioneers Linda Stone and Nathan Myhrvold , Jaron Lanier, the man who named "virtual reality, Howard Gardner, the Harvard professor who has had such an impact on how we see learning differences and help the kids who have them, and one of the earliest Web thinkers, Esther Dyson.

Take a look; you might actually find a route to some optimism yourself! I was surprised by how much "good news" these people deliver. If we can just get some political leadership to follow up on it we’ll be better able to leverage these possibilities but either way, it’s nice to get some good news once in a while. Happy New Year.

EDUCATION R US

This was a business day – no fooling around. I spent much of it reading education blogs for a client. I’m a real education junkie but often forget just how many wonderful, caring teachers there are out there. Wander around the blog world of educators and you find humor, commitment, talent and creativity. I admit that being the parent of kids with learning disabilities and the daughter and sister of teachers predisposes me to my admiration and interest but when you read these posts you really can’t resist.

I worry though about our schools. From what I’ve read we’re way behind China and India — among other countries — in the education of engineers and computer/math/science kids — and artsy and verbal as I am, I know those skills will be the ones we need to keep our country, and our economy, competitive. Yet all the hollering about the future of education is pretty empty. We give the No Child Left Behind tests, and I must admit that there are schools that really do need basic standards. But it’s critical thinking, inquiry and problem-solving, that will keep our country strong – and that’s suffering to fund the tests as a one-size-fits-all solution. In addition, funding for gifted kids is almost non-existent these days, so their talents aren’t being leveraged for our futures either.

If you want a real look at education today though go visit Mocha Momma — she tells it every day and with great style and compassion. Give her a try.

THE WEST WING AND THE MIDDLE EAST

They carry West Wing re-runs in Israel. I’m sitting here on a break between a day of walking through this holy city and dinner watching and crying. Can’t believe it. It’s the one where Mrs. Lanningham dies – a sad one, yes – but as my husband just said to me – “It’s a television show.” He’s right of course – but not exactly.

Since the end of the Clinton administration, the West Wing hour was the only hour I felt like I had a president I could count on. Seeing it here so long after the show ended and Bravo stopped running it was a real ambush moment. Just reminded me how much I grieve for all I’ve thought should be… and how very much I feel we’ve failed. Talking with our Israeli friends about not so hard; their own sense of despair over the state of this country brought it all back. I’ll get over it…

Before my weeping incident it was a lovely day today. Early morning at the Kotel – me and the rabbi’s 7-year-old daughter on the women’s side and all the guys on the men’s. It was sunny and cool and the city glows in the morning. Of course it’s unsettling to pass through metal detectors to pray but once you’re there, it’s quite an experience.

We had a great breakfast back at the hotel, then went walking with our friend Asher. We spent a couple of hours exploring the Mehane Yehuda market – crammed with vegetables and spices; meat, cheese, sneakers and clogs, sweaters, hats, nuts, loose tea, bottled water and almost anything else you’d want to buy. Asher took us from there to his old neighborhood Nachlaot, historic old houses off narrow streets.. strands of flowers hanging off some of the roofs and historic plaques decorating the walls.

So there it is – another day in Israel — the ridiculous, the sublime and the inevitable intrusion of the political longings that even a great adventure can’t stave off forever.

SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN

Here we are in what is supposed to be the best hotel in Jerusalem and the Internet can not get from the wall to my laptop. I’m down here in the business center just touching base but will post more when I have true access to the web, my camera etc. Sleep well everyone – Jerusalem is a huge intellectual, emotional and spiritual provocation. Will tell more later. Gnite for now. I cant’ find the apostrophe on this Israeli keyboard.

ART AND POLITICS

Just to the left is a famous mosaic of Tel Aviv scenes that’s stood in the middle of town since the early 70s. We went with our friends Joel and Nurith to the Nahum Gutman Museum and saw photos of the work, which I loved. Naturally, Joel immediately decided that we had to go see it. And we did. It’s a dear. lovely, loving and evocative work of the three columns you see here, surrounded by a ring of more scenes that serves as a kind of frame — really lovely.

The museum currently features a retrospective of the work of Duda Geva, an Israeli cartoonist who died recently, quite young. His work was kind of disconcerting; much of it joking about the absence of God. He appeared prominently in Israeli newspapers — and the tiny museum was jammed. It’s so fascinating, in a Jewish country, that this very secular man had such a wide following. Typical of the enigmatic nature of Israel in the 21st century – battling between the disproportionately powerful 15% who are super-orthodox and the rest of the country and of the frightful battle for the soul of the country between militant, militaristic right and the progressives. There is such pain and despair — on both sides. I’m going to try to write about it some here in future posts — after two years in progressive and highly secular Tel Aviv we go to Jerusalem tomorrow where religion and more conservative politics rule.

AMERICAN ME

Yesterday I went to appeal a parking ticket. I had not received my tags from the DC government and was ticketed because they were out of date. The DC police are notorious for ticketing marginal cases – I can’t count the number of times I’ve gotten tickets at broken meters or tree-concealed No Parking signs. I work for myself so it costs me money when I go to appeal ; usually I just pay. THIS however was a $100 ticket so there was no alternative.

I was pretty sure they would blow me off. I had an Internet receipt indicating timely payment of the fees but was afraid that wouldn’t matter — after all the adjudicating official probably makes a third of what I make even consulting and I’ve experienced class-like responses in the past. But Ms. Cindy and her snotty preconceptions were foiled, quite wonderfully.

At the desk in the hearing room was Mr. Carter, an African American gentleman with half-glasses, beard, white shirt, tie and a jacket and beret on the coat hook. There were about ten of us sitting around the edges of the small room, in the center of which was a table perpendicular to Mr. Carter’s desk. On his desk: a computer, our pile of appeal documents and a printer. One by one he called us to the chair at the far end of the table. One by one we told our stories. "Guilty with an explanation — the tree hid the no parking sign — I am a transit cop and even though I showed my badge they ticketed me — I drive a construction truck and the lane was marked "construction vehicles only" so the no parking sign did not apply — etc." Each time Mr. Carter read and re-read the ticket – reading the information aloud — then asked for corroborating evidence. Most of us had documents or photos proving our case. One by one he dismissed the tickets – ONE of which he didn’t even rule on because the dates were wrong and therefore the "ticket is defective." Then he called me.

As I sat down he took off his glasses and wiped them on his tie. No good. Held them up to the light. Rolled his chair over to a file cabinet, opened a drawer, opened a zipper case in that drawer, pulled out some eyeglass cleaner, cleaned his glasses, put the cleaner back in the case, put the case back in the drawer, shut the drawer and rolled back to his desk. I though "Oh boy – he’s feeling orderly – he’s going to tell me it’s my fault and I should have gone to pick them up if they hadn’t mailed them in time." He asked for my plea. "Guilty with an explanation." He asked for the explanation – that the tags never arrived. He asked for my evidence. I walked over and gave him the receipt from the date of online payment – well before expiration date.

He read everything carefully — went into his computer. "Damn," I thought, "he’s going to see all those photo speeding (2-5 miles over the limit – for the record) tickets and damn me to ticket hell." Nope.

He looked up. "You did what you were supposed to do. We’re not going to punish you because the government didn’t do what IT was supposed to do. Ticket dismissed." He signed the release and handed it to me. That was it. Done.

NOW. I’m not telling this story because this examiner was so perceptive about my sweet law-abiding self. I sat there during the entire proceeding – with people of varying degrees of education, articulateness, race, dressed-upness and other differences — all free to appeal the actions of their government. For some reason this small proceeding reminded me in a very tangible way what I love about this country even in the midst of its terrible mistakes and what I see as a wrong-headed and disastrous domestic direction: The right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. [The end of the First Amendment.] Whatever has (in my view) been violated in the past six years, we have that right and most of us take it for granted. For today anyway – thanks to Mr. Carter and the DC Department of Motor Vehicles – that "most of us" does not include me.

NO BREASTFEEDING BUT HELP YOURSELF TO THE BLOODY MARY MIX!

OK. So it’s really true. Delta Airlines actually removed a nursing mother from a flight for breast feeding her child. The mother, Emily Gillette, noted that she was in the second-to-last row, next to the window, and “her breast was not showing.” A flight attendant apparently offered her a blanket to cover what she believed was already covered enough and she declined. At that point the attendant asked that the family be removed from this three-house-late flight. If you’ve ever traveled with a toddler late at night on a delayed flight you know how hard it is to settle them down. Besides, from the reports I read, the decision to nurse was made partly because kids often cry on takeoff and landing because of the pressure changes. One of my kids used to get ear infections when we flew because the pressure pushed mucus around in his eustation tubes – until our pediatrician suggested we give him Benadryl before flights to dry him out. So I know it’s an issue.

More importantly though – what could possible have “offended” the flight attendant who asked for the removal? We know that gate agents comply with these requests as a matter of policy and we know this is one of those puddle jumper subcontractor airlines and maybe they aren’t as worldly as larger ones but everyone has been a baby and she was in the back of the plane in a CORNER for heaven’s sake. Lots of you have been very funny on your blogs about this but I’m just not in a funny mood . It is a reflection of our larger policy toward children and it ain’t good. Somehow everything comes before the kids. Even the sensibilities of the only person likely to even notice this going on – that flight attendant.

While everyone is so censorious about nursing – I happened in the same weekend that I read this to fly from DC to Orlando and spend an hour and a half in the United Red Carpet Room – a very pleasant and useful luxury if one travels frequently. Here’s the thing. There are apples and bananas and oranges and 3-4 kinds of juice and pretzels and TWIX bars and sometimes even cheese and crackers sitting around in there. So when grownups are hungry – or even when they’re not – it’s all available and it’s all free (unless you count the annual feel for the Red Carpet Card.) I was going to write about how hard it is for me NOT to take a whole bunch of stuff in my tote bag – if only because it’s free. This time I failed – partly because the stuff was kosher and I thought we might need it. Three tomato juices, 4 tiny pretzel bags, five mini-Twix bars and two granola bars. And over the weekend we used them all. But isn’t it funny that I can get free food and carry it on in quantity while a 22 month old child three hours late for dinner can’t even get what’s naturally, organically, God-givenly hers? Somehow there’s nothing funny about that.