Category: Aging

The Blogging Boomers Carnival (#105) Lands Here Once Again

 

Carnival
It’s Carnival time again; the Blogging Boomers have landed here at Don’t Gel Too Soon, and they have plenty to offer.  From Hole in the Donut, a story of how small the world really is – her blog helped a man discover his lost family roots when she published a present day photo of a storefront in Matten, Switzerland that had belonged to his grandfather.  He was able to match it to a historical photo that ultimately led him to records that confirmed his ancestry.
Meanwhile, Rhea Becker tell us that she’s always dreamed of opening a restaurant.  Would her Amish-concept restaurant survive in Boston?  Learn more at The Boomer Chronicles.
 
Is it possible to go through menopause “naturally”? asks Wendy Lawson, who put that question to a well-respected herbalist and integrative medicine physician, and shares her advice at Menopause The Blog.
 
On another topic, were you part of the Oscar audience?  Over at Fabulous After 40, they ask the question…How do the over 40 celebrities get to looking so sleek and perfect on the red carpet?
 
We all know that I Remember JFK comes up with some great memories.  This time it’s a Buffalo Nickel, in typical 1960’s condition, that he found as a kid. As he puts it:  “It wasn’t often that a kid of the 60’s had change in his pocket. At least it wasn’t often that I did. Come to think of it, I’m short of cash right now. Some things never change.
 
But go back to 1967, and if a fortunate youngster found himself with a chunk of change in his pocket, the odds were pretty favorable that among the coinage was a Buffalo Nickel or two.
 
And while we’re looking back — we all do it, but it’s got a bad name with most mental health professionals.  That might be changing though. What are we talking about at LifeTwo?   Nostalgia.
 
Here’s a nice simple one on Boomer life from the Midlife Crisis Queen:  Behaviors to avoid when midlife crisis strikes!
 
In another take on life, Dina at This Marriage Thing says: Single?  Here’s a bit of advice on choosing the purrfect mate..
 
After reading a magazine article about young entrepreneurs where only 3 of 16 were women, Andrea Stenberg wonders Are Young Women Less Likely to Be Entrepreneurs?
 
On the political side (sort of:) Feeling a bit Obamar-ific, Janet Wendy at Gen Plus, brings you some new online goodies from the White House
 
Add some technology to your politics: Barack Obama does it.  So do William Shatner, Richard Branson and John Cleese…  What is it?  Twittering.
Tweating.  Microblogging…  If you want to get in on the act, head over to Contemporary Retirement.

 

Blogging Boomers Are at It Again!

Contemprorary Retirement
I'm a bit late posting this week; life took over unexpectedly.  But that doesn't diminish the usual value in the assembly known as Blogging Boomers Blog Carnival #103, this week posted by Ann Harrison at Contemporary Retirement.  This time we have everything from the stimulus package to canned food to hormone replacement.  And there's lots more.  Don't miss it.

Pete, Bruce, Beyonce and Obama: the Changing of the Guard

Brucespringsteen_l

There they are: two of the cultural icons of my political life.  Pete Seeger, close to 90, peer and colleague of Woody Guthrie, creator of We Shall Overcome and Turn Turn Turn, of Abiyoyo and Sam the Whaler, leader of The Almanac Singers and the Weavers.  If there was a civil rights rally or a labor rally or an anti-war rally, he was there. 

Beside him, Bruce Springsteen, a modern troubadour whose songs speak for many Americans whose opinions are never sought, whose voices are seldom heard.

As they stood together at the Lincoln Memorial in celebration of the Inauguration of Barack Obama, they represented, to me, all that I had believed and tried to help bring into being.  To many, though, they were “the ultimate in subtly old-left populism.”  Speaking about the concert early Sunday before it began, I kept talking about Bruce.  A younger friend gently suggested that he was probably not the day’s headliner.  That would be Beyonce Knowles, she said.  I’m sure she’s right. 

As one who was present the last time “the torch was passed to a new generation;” as a strongly defined Baby Boomer, it’s painful to hear anchormen celebrate the fact that “there will never be another Baby Boom President.”  It’ s not that I mind the fact of that; it’s just painful that it seems to be something to celebrate.  So many of us have tried so to be productive agents of change, have spent our lives working either full or part of the time to see that our country offers more to the least powerful, demands quality education, justice and maybe, even peace.  So to hear Joe Scarborough revel in the fact that “16 horrible years of baby boomer presidents is over” really hurts.  All my adult life we’ve been tarred by the brush of the least attractive of us while the work of the rest of us went unnoticed.  For most campaigns, as I’ve written before, we were the secret weapon of the right.

So as exciting as all this is, especially for one who has supported Obama for so long, it’s also bittersweet because I feel the shadow of the disdain in which so many of us are held.  I really don’t know how to respond.  If I were to try, it might be by offering some of the words to Si Kahn‘s They All Sang Bread and Roses.  It’s better with the music, but it does the job.

They All Sang “Bread and Roses (Si Kahn, 1989,
1991)

The more I
study history,

The more I
seem to find

That in
every generation

There are
times just like that time

When folks
like you and me who thought

That they
were all alone

Within this
honored movement

Found a
home.

 

And ‘though
each generation fears

That it
will be the last,

Our
presence here is witness

To the
power of the past.

And just as
we have drawn our strength

From those
who now are gone,

Younger
hands will take our work

And carry
on.

Money, Madoff, Seniors and Struggles

ROnnie banner
NO this is not the lazy way out – sending you to another blog.  Ronni Bennett is a highly visible, highly regarded "elder blogger" and has formed a large, vital community around her blog Time Goes By.  A retired CBS News producer, she moved from Manhattan to Maine for a more affordable standard of living and she's got her fingers on many pulses.  Today, she writes about the already tragic costs of the economic crisis for "the rest of us" – those not losing fortunes because of Bernard Madoff but just losing ground.

I think the Madoff story is worth the attention it's getting,  not just or even mainly because of the damage it did to high-end investors but because someone of such stature (Head of NASDAQ) would – and could- do such things – and that he got away with it for so long.  It's institutionally mind-blowing.  As I wandered the web reading stories for this post, I discovered more reasons, too.  It did disproportionate damage to Jews and Jewish charities – and Madoff was Jewish.  Another "how could he?"  Non-profits around the world, literally, are devastated; an example of the non-profit chaos generated by Mr. Madoff's activity. 

Even so, Ronni's point about the focus on the big stuff when there are so many stories, especially at this time of year, is worth taking a look at.  She's right about that; we need to see more profiles of those people who "work hard and play by the rules" and are struggling to figure out how to survive.  They're our neighbors – and, in many cases, they're us.

John Kennedy, Barack Obama, 2 Inaugurations and 2 Generations of Dreamers

JFK Inaugural crowd
I seem to be living in the WayBack Machine this year.  Lots of memories of 1968 and even 1963.  Now as January 20, 2009 approaches, yet another looms.  January 20, certainly, but in 1961.

See that crowd?  Somewhere, way in the back, probably at least a block beyond, stand an almost-fifteen-year-old girl and her mother.  Fresh off an overnight train from Pittsburgh, having arrived at Union Station in time to watch the Army flame-throwers melt a blizzard’s worth of snow on the streets of the inaugural route, they make their way to their parade seats: in the bleachers, way down near the Treasure Building.  

I spent most of 1960 besotted with John Kennedy.  And Jackie.  And Caroline.  And all the other Kennedys who came with them.  Most of my lunch money went to bus fare as, after school, I shuttled  back and forth “to town” to volunteer in the local JFK headquarters.  I even had a scrapbook of clippings about Kennedy and his family. 

JFK Inaugural tickets

So.  My parents surprised me with these two parade tickets.  My mom and I took the overnight train and arrived
around dawn Inauguration morning.  We couldn’t get into the swearing-in itself, of course, so we went to a bar that served breakfast (at least that’s how I remember it) and watched the speech on their TV, then made our way along the snowy sidewalks to our seats, arriving in time to watch the new president and his wife roll by, to see his Honor Guard, the last time it would be comprised solely of white men (since Kennedy ordered their integration soon after,) in time to see the floats and the Cabinet members and the bands and the batons.

It was very cold.  We had no thermos, no blankets, nothing extra, and my mom, God bless her, never insisted that we go in for a break, never complained or made me feel anything but thrilled.  Which I was.   As the parade drew to a close, and the light faded, we stumbled down the bleachers, half-frozen, and walked the few blocks to the White House fence. I stood there, as close to the fence as I am now to my keyboard, and watched our new president enter the White House for the first time as Commander in Chief.

That was half a century ago.  I can’t say it feels like yesterday, but it remains a formidable and cherished memory.  It was also a defining lesson on how to be a parent; it took enormous love and respect to decide to do this for me.  I was such a kid – they could have treated my devotion like a rock star crush; so young, they could have decided I would “appreciate it more” next time.  (Of course there was no next time.)   Instead, they gave me what really was the lifetime gift of being a part of history.  And showed me that my political commitment had value – enough value to merit such an adventure.

Who’s to say if I would have ended up an activist (I did)- and then a journalist (I did) – without those memories.  If I would have continued to act within the system rather than try to destroy it. (I did)  If I would have been the mom who took kids to Europe, brought them along on news assignments to Inaugurations and royal weddings and green room visits with the Mets (Yup, I did.)  I had learned to honor the interests and dreams of my children the way my parents had honored my own.  So it’s hard for me to tell parents now to stay home. 

My good friend, the wise and gifted PunditMom, advises “those with little children” to skip it, and since strollers and backpacks are banned for security reasons, I’m sure she’s right.  But if you’ve got a dreamer in your house, a young adult who has become a true citizen because of this election, I’d try to come.  After all, he’s their guy.  What he does will touch their lives far more than it will ours.  Being part of this beginning may determine their willingness to accept the tough sacrifices he asks of them – at least that – and probably, also help to build their roles as citizens – as Americans – for the rest of their lives.  Oh — and will tell them that, despite curfews and learner’s permits, parental limit-setting and screaming battles, their parents see them as thinking, wise and effective people who will, as our new President promised them, help to change the world. 

For My Friends with Young Children, or My Annual Post-Thanksgiving Meditation

Farm tight
Here's the thing.  My children live far away, one six hours to the west and the other, with his fiance, six hours to the east.  We've been together for Thanksgiving week – all of us – hanging out, cooking, touring around DC, running errands and just being — and being thankful.  It's always special when the whole family is together; it seemed so natural when the boys were little and now it's a treat.  I cooked a million meals with them banging around in the kitchen.  Now it's a precious thing when I make turkey meatloaf with my younger son.  I watch him, an accomplished cook, chop like a pro, listen as he reassures me that this new thing will taste great, laugh with him, trade recipes.  I rode around in cars, subways, buses with them all the time, and, along with their dad, dragged them into a million stores from grocery to toys to clothing to antiques.  Now it's the pleasure of serious shopping at Ikea with my older son and his fiance, getting to be around while they choose a sofa.  Seeing what a fine woman she is, watching them seamlessly making decisions together, measuring, taking photos, laughing, planning.  It feels great to see them launching themselves so well together and makes it OK that much of their life is lived far from us.  That's how it is.

I know though, that when kids are little, schlepping them in and out of car seats and strollers, keeping them occupied while you try to cook, keeping little hands out of the Ikea toy bins, mediating murderous sibling battles, keeping a home running while keeping kids in line – it's a lot.  I remember.  It doesn't matter whether you work outside your home or stay home with your family; either way there's so much to handle.  I kept thinking about that as I wandered around Washington with these adults who are also, forever, my children, reminding myself how long it would be before we would all do it together again.  Reminding myself that it's a credit to us that our kids are self-sufficient, productive and wonderfully decent, funny, loving men — and how blessed we are that they chose to come to us for the holiday — and that it's right, and good, that they have their own lives and homes and futures.

But though that's true, I wanted to tell you about this because it goes so fast.  All the cliches are true.  Turn around and they're grown.  That doesn't mean it isn't hard to keep things going now, it just means that those days will be gone, sooner than you think.

My youngest is approaching 30.  My oldest is getting married.  They have money market accounts and careers and fiances and plans and even some gray hairs.  They teach me more than I teach them (although that was always true.)  They are, like those of you reading this, grown ups, and my husband and I have our own rich and happy life together.  But it still can be, for those few moments of farewell at the end of each visit, desperately painful, on both sides.

As we drove to the airport last night, I (sort of) joked that I had to hook my iPod up to the car radio so that, when I was sad after leaving them off, I could blast Bruce, or Great Big Sea to make me feel a little better.  When we arrived at the departure entrance, I got out of the car to help unload the bags.  My son the chef was still in the front seat of the car. I was worried that a cop would throw me out of the parking place so I went toward the door to ask what he was doing.  He turned around.  "You iPod's all hooked up" he said, and reached out to give me a hug goodbye.

BLOGGING BOOMERS #93 AND I’M HOST. ELECTION POSTS AND LOTS MORE

Where_we_blog

From here in Washington, DC, nerve center of exhausted political junkies and traumatized McCain supporters comes this week’s Blogging Boomers Blog Carnival.


Those two Fabulous After 40 gals (who are fabulous) remind us that if we think we might be shrinking "You’re right.  Starting at 40 we lost half an inch in height every decade."


What’s a boomer gal to do, other than wear high heels? Check out
Fabulous after 40 for fashion advice on How to dress to look taller.

John at SoBabyBoomer has found a new study has found that women have a
greater variety of bacteria on their hands than men do.  So, he wonders,  "Should guys worry about holding hands with
women?  Find out at SoBabyBoomer.com

Maybe those germy women would feel better if they knew how to manage in today’s economy?  If, so this week’s Vaboomers is for them.  They’re sponsoring a free seminar: How to Manifest What You Need in Difficult Times" for women coping with the current economy.
 

The Midlife Crisis Queen has something different on her mind: 

We
make all kinds of mistaken assumptions about the opposite sex when it comes to
sex.  Here’s some wrong assumptions made by men  and here’s some made by women.   

Boston’s own Rhea Becker, like most of us, still had the election on her mind.  As she says "History was made this week.  A baby boomer was elected president of the United States.  Learn more at The Boomer Chronicles.

Also with elections on her mind, Janet at Gen Plus shares her reaction to Obama’s acceptance speech.  And, like any of you, yes….she wept.

Meanwhile, over at LifeTwo, we’re getting some exciting ideas:  The key to happiness, according to university researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is the concept of "flow."  Flow are those activities in which you are so deeply involved that you feel outside reality. 

As usual, I Remember JFK has a great social memory to offer:  TV Trays.  "The living room of the 1960’s was a warm, friendly place.  True, times had changed since our parents might have first purchased our modest homes fifteen or twenty years prior.   Most living rooms in the US had a new center of attention: the television set.  That one-eyed monster changed the purpose of the home’s central location from a place of casual conversation, or possible listening to the radio, to the spot where our parents unwound after a long day at work, accompanied by a cocktail, Walter Cronkite and a TV dinner.

Thankful for new leadership in the land, Dina at This Marriage Thing challenges us all to bring that same feeling home with the Gratitude Project.  I’ve actually been there – it’s pretty cool.

Oh and if you can stand one more election post, here’s mine.  It’s about having been in Grant Park during the 1968 Democratic Convention riots, and watching Obama accept the presidency on that very spot.

 


ROSH HASHANAH ONE REDUX: ONE YEAR AGO

I’m posting this again, one year later, because the feelings remain and the holiday arrived last night.  I’ve set the timer to post this during the holiday [That way I didn’t have to break the rules and post it during down time.]  When you hear about things like the urgency of the bail out vote because of the Jewish Holiday of Rosh Hashanah – this is what they’re talking about.   
September 12, 2007    A NEW YEAR, A 36th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, A LOT TO THINK ABOUT

Wedding_familyTonight begins Rosh Hashanah – the New Year celebration that launches the holy season of the Days of Awe that continues until Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement.  It’s also a huge day for me – in more than one way.  Rick and I were married 36 years ago today.
On a boat on the Monongahela River.   We’ve been through a lot – maybe
more than most couples – but we’ve hung on and we’re reaping the
rewards of a shared history.  So to have this remarkable landmark fall
on the eve of a holy day of renewal is really something.

This is another anniversary, too.  Our third living an observant
life.  We first came here for Rosh Hashanah services 4 years ago, met our remarkable rabbi and began the journey that has led us to a new, moving, inspiring, frustrating, challenging, occasionally painful, sometimes completely uplifting life.
We share new feelings, new friends, new aspirations to goodness and a
sense of God, new challenges and inspirations.  AND we’re still sharing
them with each other.  That too is remarkable.

Now as we move toward observance of these days, toward prayers and
meals and friends and — especially joyful – a visit from one of our
sons and his girl friend, I am both grateful and anxious.  We are
supposed to think about debts and obligations, sins and redemption.  I
still carry a painful resentment – toward someone who
has hurt me deeply and, I suspect, believes that I hurt them.  I need
to deal with this but am still struggling to figure out how.  But I
know I will – that I must.  That’s the other gift of this season – a
confrontation with the personal flaws that impede our prayers and our
happiness. 

To those who have offered us so much guidance and support, with whom
we’ve had such fun and such meaningful prayers (and meals – and visits)
I wish you the gift of as much goodness as you’ve brought us – an
enormous deluge of joy.  To our dear rabbi and his family a special
thanks for being our gateway to this new life and all that it has
meant. 

Rick_cindy
And to Rick, my partner, love and best friend, eternal gratitude to you
for your courage and determination, love and generosity, talents and
humor and incredible incredible soul.  Happy anniversary.  Thanks for
the memories, the adventures, our amazing children,  and this
astonishing, still emerging journey.  L’shana tova.

Posted by Cynthia Samuels on September 12, 2007 at 09:54 AM 

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