Cynthia Samuels

I DON’T WANT TO BE A TURKEY ON THANKSGIVING

We’re going to Seattle for Thanksgiving to see our older son’s new apartment and be with both boys and assorted others. I always get a little nervous when I haven’t seen them in a while; you know how it is — you just love them so much and sometimes if it’s too obvious it becomes a burden. They are wonderful sons and wonderful people and they tolerate my enthusiasm for them pretty well. Like any family, we’ve been through a lot together – good and bad — and understand one another pretty well I think. But I do worry about what I do when I’m uneasy – I get way too verbal and my big effort is going to be to keep my mouth shut except when it makes sense to open it!

One thing I learned from my father (that’s him on the left) is to try like hell not to tangle your kids up any more than necessary. He used to tell us that we should live our own lives and NEVER feel obligated to him; that the gift of us was all we owed him.

His own father was a classic immigrant tyrant and so he, of course, went the other way. I’ll tell you, I honestly believe that his attitude made us MORE likely to call, show up and fuss over him. The only grief of it, aside from losing him, is that my mom kept telling us not to come home in his final illness, that he "would not want you to see him like this." I finally decided to go to him – fed up with being put off and horribly guilty about not doing it sooner – and he died as I was on my way there. I don’t think I’ve completely dealt with it in the 15 years since he died — too painful and nothing to do about it anyway — but I don’t want my kids to have that sort of experience either.

For that reason, I forced myself to call them when I was in the hospital instead of, like my own parents, waiting until I was out and OK to let them know. I really do think of them as grown men now and try to treat them with the respect I would treat other impressive men – but sometimes I slip and go "all mom" on them. They accept it with good humor but I just would love to have the discipline to give them the respect they deserve instead of indulging my own over-expressive self. I’m practicing all weekend. Can’t talk anymore… shhhhh!

ALL POWER (or at least MORE power) TO THE BLOGGERS!

Yesterday I went to a briefing on political blogging held by the Institute for Politics, Democracy and the Internet and mega-PR agency Edelman Associates. It was pretty interesting. Among the findings: (Read to the bottom – you’ll be glad you did)

27% of the US population reads a blog in any given week (@60,193,913 folks – larger than the adult pops of CA, NY, TX combined)34%+ American influentials (people who influence others – logical, right?) read a blog at least once/week
28% of American adults that have read a blog have taken action on based on in- formation they received on that blog.

The US age breakdown is kind of interesting too.

18-24s are largest blog users, as you’d imagine. They report reading a blog an average of 1.6 days/week.
The next highest isn’t 25-34 (many of whom fell into a kind of "gap" in school computing access and average 0.8 pages/week) but 35-44s who average around 1.05 days/week.
Then there’s another surprise – the next age cadre, 45-54 is lowest so far at around 0.7 days/week
Those early Boomers 55-64 are higher, matching the 25-34s at 0.8.
65+ averages only around 0.5.

And gender – are we traveling the blogosphere less intensely than the guys? Well the only stats the report had were for political blogs and their researcher says the numbers were pretty much in the margin of error:

Blog readers who read political blogs: 24% female – 30% male
Take action from political blog info: 26% female – 30% male]]

A second study, released in October 2006 by IPDI and @dvocacy Inc. showed:

Daily political blog readers were 75% male and 25% female
Daily “all others” blog readers were 60% male and 40% female

OK NOW here’s why you read to the bottom: women don’t do their politics exclusively on “political” blogs – not at all! Read Been There or Mom-101 or Lizawashere and see for yourself. As usual, we don’t fit into anyone’s categories – combining family, food, politics and love into the total life we all live. Good for us — we just have to make sure the pundits know this too – so they can find some of our brilliant sisters as they think, write and provoke us to do both better.

FLYOVER AMERICA AND STUDIO 60 (and my trip to Syracuse)

The pledge, which I accidentally violated, was to post every day in November. A promise is a promise and I am trying. Tonight after a wacky 36 hour trip to Syracuse (don’t ask) I’m so tired I’m hallucinating. I was guilty the whole time I was there because it felt so small and it was winter-grey besides. Couldn’t get into it.

From childhood family visits to my cousins and our current annual trips to the Cleveland Clinic I’ve grown perversely fond of Cleveland – and I grew up in Pittsburgh so I have a real feeling for it. But lots of smaller cities just feel claustrophobic and kind of disappointed. This was one of them although the people we met were lovely and very friendly — like Midwesterners.

Which reminds me (stay with me here) – Studio 60 is fun. I loved seeing John Goodman make all the coastal liberals (of course I AM one) squirm – and say several things that were true and also are what’s wrong with my political tribe, in my opinion. About those uppity liberals who think everyone between the coasts is stupid.

The show has a determination to look at this issue I think – not only in a Nevada courtroom but also through the constant dialog between Matt (Matthew Perry’s character) and Harriet (Sarah Paulson) — probably the most beautiful woman I’ve seen on TV in a long time — maybe ever.

I’m going to bed now and sleep off the last of the airplane air before I have to get on another plane Friday and get to Orlando before Shabat. G’nite.

MAD MAX[INE] – KOSHER ON THE ROAD

This is the first time I’ve tried to eat only kosher food on the road. We called the hotel where we were going to stay (they have been really nice so I’m not saying where) and the guy asked if we needed a special dining room too. (No, we aren’t germ-averse, just food-specific) We got the dinner we had ordered and it came in paper containers (soup) and plastic plates (bread, good rare rib roast slice and green beans) and Styrofoam (tea.) I asked about the caterer — it was the local Jewish Home for the Aged! Lunch is later today so can’t report on that.

I’m having trouble getting used to this.

I want my mobility. I want my connection to the rest of the world through food. I want to walk into a diner at the beach or a middle eastern place in LA and just sit down.

I want — that’s the issue, isn’t it? I have to learn when to slam the “I want” into the drawer and just go with the rules. I’m perfectly comfortable doing it at home – but I don’t have to give anything up to do that, really. It’s just a matter of careful logistics. On the road it’s different. I feel the pull of the “outside world” that keeping kosher seems to limit in some ways. I need to learn how to handle this – and I don’t want to write too much about it right now. I just wanted to document this experiment in kosher road warriorhood. And to mention that in a hotel where they had no idea of the scope or reason for our requests they went out of their way to make it pleasant. That’s a lovely thing. If they can bother – I have to learn how to bother too without complaining.

If I’m really honest I have to say that my biggest fear is imposing anything on my non-kosher kids. They were not raised in all this and there’s no reason to expect then to live as we do. But I’m afraid it will become a burden between us – — not because of them — they are caring and considerate and will help us to do what we need — but because I’ll be guilty and apologetic and make everything harder for all of us by overcompensating – both at their homes and at ours. I know I’ll figure it all out but some days I’m more aware than others of the “giving up stuff’ side that is part of what has brought us to all the peace and beauty of this new life.

DID I HAVE A BRAIN TRANSPLANT?

So I’ve been reading around the blogs I love — Mom 101, Been There, Time Goes By and others and they’re full of election news and celebrating both the outcome and the Speakership of Nancy Pelosi. And I realize that I – former political producer of the TODAY SHOW and general political junkie – have barely mentioned the election here. What’s THAT about?

I DID mention the growing youth turnout – but that makes sense – I care so much about younger people – both how they see the world and how the world sees them — and about my old friend Jane Harman.

I just wasn’t as jazzed as everyone else about this victory. So very much that I believe in has been undone in these years and so much that I worked for is gone. I think the next two years will be about maintaining as much as remains of the progressive perspective and pushing through little advances since more than that will bring about a Bush veto and we have nowhere near the votes to beat that. SO. It was a start – but we have a long way to go and still haven’t come up with a perspective that’s a compelling alternative when there isn’t a war and a pedophile to help us over the hump. We need not to fight with each other – the NYT today talks about the pragmatic nature of current Dem victors compared to some of the ideological leanings of the establishment. It will be interesting to watch but call me crazy — I’m not ready to party yet.

MY BAD

All you NABLOPOMO visitors — my deepest apologies. I blithely signed up for NABLOPOMO and promptly ended up in the hospital for two days (just a scare – I’m fine) which right away made me fail my pledge. But I also forgot – or didn’t think about — the fact that I can’t use a computer on Shabbat. Saturdays are no writing, no typing, no computers, TV, radio, telephone days (I know, it sounds weird if you’re not into it and before I started doing it I thought it totally bizarre. It turns out to be a real pleasure – but I digress.) Anyway I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bait and switch. I just didn’t think.

Oh – and I promise to post AT LEAST 30 posts this month -just not on Saturdays. — And to stay out of the hospital — at least this month.

Fini Bi Bi

Ed Bradley died today – of leukemia. He was not a usual man — not at all. Good, funny, gifted, fierce, loving and decent, he was a gentleman to the core. For two political convention seasons in the 80s I was his CBS News floor producer. In the midst of one of them, his mother had a stroke and was very ill in Philadelphia. She wouldn’t let him miss work though – insisted that he be on the convention floor every night. The convention was in New York , so Ed drove to Philadelphia after we were off the air each night, sleeping in a limo on the way to Philly – spending the night and morning with his mother and then returning in the limo the next day. He was there for her — and for his work, as she insisted that he be.

If you saw him on 60 Minutes, interviewing Aretha Franklin in the kitchen with a dish towel over his shoulder, chopping while they talked, or jamming with Aaron Neville, you saw another, wonderful Ed — no pretense, no baloney. And if you saw him with his godchildren – daughters of the wonderful Vertamae Grovesnor, you saw yet another part of this wonderful man.

Somehow though, when I read the CNN Alert just an hour ago — what I remembered at once was that night in 1975 when Saigon fell. I was just back from maternity leave and alone on the overnight for the foreign desk at CBS. As a long-time CBS correspondent in Vietnam, Ed was the last guy out — or just about. What I can’t get out of my head is his account of walking down the deserted embassy hallway — where almost all the lights were out except one far down the hall — and his description of thinking of “the light at the end of the tunnel” — and then – as he signed off for the last time from Saigon – ending with the words of Saigon hookers “fini bi bi.” I’m not sure I can describe the sensitivity and sadness of this report – but I do remember sending him an email “Ernie Pyle, move over.”

The thing is – he was at least as wonderful as he was gifted and as talented as he was dear. It’s just so sad to think of him gone and of such a miserable disease. He’s leaving a beautiful legacy but that doesn’t make it OK. Not at all.

OH GROW UP! (ARE YOU SURE?)

I remember when Jerry Rubin said “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” Of course as all of us aged, that went out of fashion fairly quickly. But maybe we should all reconsider. Look at what Rolling Stone quotes from Rock the Vote:

The Youth Vote: Kingmakers in the Senate

“Young voters increased their turnout over 2002 and favored Democrats by large margins,” said Hans Riemer, Rock the Vote’s political director. “They played a major role in the Democratic victory.”

A sample of exit polling from close Senate races around the country shows that the youth vote was key to the Democratic victory.
US Senate 18-29 yrs

Dem. Rep.

Virginia          52%    48%
Rhode Island 65% 35%
Pennsylvania 68% 32%
Ohio             57%    43%
Missouri       49%    48%
Montana       56%    44%

Let’s give them a call-out and stop acting like we’re the only ones who care!

VOTING — VICTORIES AND A MISTAKE – REMOVING JANE HARMAN

OK. These results are pretty exciting. But even as we are pleased to see change, ugliness emerges. I admit it. I went to college with Jane Harman. But I never see her; we don’t go to lunch – we don’t even go to the same fundraisers. In fact, I see her sometimes at college events and that’s it. But I’ve been very proud of her.

She has been honorable, smart and fierce in protecting the US through her work on the House Intelligence Committee as its Ranking Member and now, as the Democrats emerge as a majority, the FIRST WOMAN SPEAKER wants to dump her from her chance to Chair of the entire committee. This is a critical job – not a "woman" or "minority" opportunity but, if anywhere in the House, a place for the best possible PERSON to hold the job. And she’s going to be pushed aside because of a falling-out with Nancy Pelosi and because of her ability to work across the aisle on the issue where it’s most important to do so. Am I crazy? I don’t know the subtleties of this but in my bones it feels wrong. Speak up please. I need to know why this is OK if it happens. It just seems so wrong to me – not only for Jane but for — to be corny — the country.

WONDERFUL WILLIAM STYRON

In 1968 I was a volunteer in the Eugene McCarthy anti-war presidential campaign. Most of the time I took care of the press, riding on the press bus and handling logistics for filing stories and getting to the plane on time. Frequently, when celebrities were campaigning with the Senator they’d ride for a while on the press bus, so I got to meet some pretty amazing people, from Robert Lowell to Tony Randall to William Styron, who died this week.

I had just read The Confessions of Nat Turner, his 1967 Pulitzer Prize-winning book about a slave revolt in Virginia in 1831, which I had loved. I knew of his close friendship with James Baldwin, whom I really admired, and imagined that the book was written partly as a cry for justice for his friend and other black Americans. (OK I was 20, what do you want?) I sat down beside him on the bus and was able to let him know how much I admired him and his work.

The next day, literally, there was a horrible piece about the book and Styron’s “racism” in some lefty publication (can’t remember which one) He walked down the aisle of the bus and dropped it in my lap – “see — see what they’re doing to me?” he said sadly. I have never forgotten that day – the punishment he took for imagining the rage and longing for justice on the part of a charismatic slave — and the sweetness of the man himself. Only later did I learn of his battles with depression. I don’t know if it’s true that one must suffer for one’s art, but he certainly did.

Of course, people know him better for Sophie’s Choice and the Meryl Streep film — again about the unimaginable persecution of a minority. I guess it’s no accident that his wife Rose was so closely tied to Amnesty International for so long.

Anyway I am thinking of him today — of his deep moral sense so well communicated in his work – and of the amazing privilege of knowing him, if only for a little while.