WEDDINGS, INDY, CARRIE BRADSHAW AND ME (SPOILER ALERT – BIG HINTS ABOUT SATC ENDING)

I went to see Sex and the City tonight with a group of women in their 20’s, much younger than Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda.  I’m older than all of them.  They liked it, thought it was disorganized, or OK, or so-so or good.  I loved it. 

As I tried to explain why, I got strangely emotional, struggling to describe how Samantha’s 50th birthday, the remarkable relationship shared by these four friends, the happy endings and the fairy tale aura, just made me happy.  It’s tough to measure the impact of experience on a life perspective, or the different perspective of those just beginning to accumulate those experiences; good friends who are young adults newly married or newly parents – still far from my place as the mother of grown sons.

This, the film’s opening weekend, saw it push Indiana Jones out of first place.  I’ve complained a great deal about the latest Indy movie.  My husband emailed our older son that the movie "sucked."  He responded that he had loved, it, that it was just "one big comic book."  Clearly, he felt the same way I’d felt about the girls of Sex and the City. As he put it, with his usual wisdom "I guess everything is a matter of perspective."

On this day, my perspective was particularly distinct.  We’d spent much
of the day at an elegant, joyous and remarkably honest and loving
wedding.  The bride was the young woman whose conversion I’ve described;  the groom a gifted young international affairs scholar.  The families
were loving.  The ceremony was moving.  The toasts were hilarious.  The
band was more fun that you’d expect at a wedding, the dancing uninhibited and almost universal.  Nobody sat on the sidelines and watched.

There was an
awareness of time and tradition that was particularly affecting.  Weeks
before the ceremony, the bride emailed us asking for our own wedding
photos, (yes, that’s us in 1971) and the room where the ceremony was to take place was surrounded
by bookshelves, each shelf adorned with two or three framed photos of
our own weddings – from as far back as the 50’s, all the
way into the 21st Century.  All of us were moved by the message
this assembly delivered – of commitments made, weddings celebrated, time
passed.  It was fun to see everyone’s photos, but they also added a gravitas
to the day.  After all, this was a community event familiar to all  of us – having joined the same circle this young couple joined today.

So what’s the connection to the mad women of Sex and the City’s New York?  This time, in this film, they finally figured out where they fit, in the world and in the "family of man."  One split with her boyfriend to live her life on her own, one rescued an endangered relationship, one bore her first biological child and one, finally, married the love of her life.  In short, they joined the rest of us, struggling to find our place on the planet and the purpose behind the gift of our lives.  All the clothes and shoes and Manhattans and Cosmopolitans may have been fun – but as their story came to a final resolution, they needed to figure out who they loved and how to love them.  And, with the help of one another, that’s just what they did.

And Indy?  Not too much growth there.  Just more of the same, only  tired.  Going through the motions, it seemed to me.  But there you have it.   One man’s comic book is one woman’s re-run.  And one woman’s touching parable — well, maybe, to love it you need to love fairy tales – especially those that bring us that rarest of gifts – a happy ending.