A NEW YEAR, A 36th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, A LOT TO THINK ABOUT

Wedding_familyTonight begins Rosh Hashanah – the New Year celebration that launches the holy season of the Days of Awe that continues until Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement.  It’s also a huge day for me – in more than one way.  Rick and I were married 36 years ago today.  On a boat on the Monongahela River.   We’ve been through a lot – maybe more than most couples – but we’ve hung on and we’re reaping the rewards of a shared history.  So to have this remarkable landmark fall on the eve of a holy day of renewal is really something.

This is another anniversary, too.  Our third living an observant life.  We first came here for Rosh Hashanah services 4 years ago, met our remarkable rabbi and began the journey that has led us to a new, moving, inspiring, frustrating, challenging, occasionally painful, sometimes completely uplifting life.  We share new feelings, new friends, new aspirations to goodness and a sense of God, new challenges and inspirations.  AND we’re still sharing them with each other.  That too is remarkable.

Now as we move toward observance of these days, toward prayers and meals and friends and — especially joyful – a visit from one of our sons and his girl friend, I am both grateful and anxious.  We are supposed to think about debts and obligations, sins and redemption.  I still carry a painful family resentment – toward someone I love but who has hurt me deeply and , I suspect, believes that I hurt her.  I need to deal with this but am still struggling to figure out how.  But I know I will – that I must.  That’s the other gift of this season – a confrontation with the personal flaws that impede our prayers and our happiness.  My dear one, if you read this, know how much I love you and that we will find our way past this – I promise.

To those who have offered us so much guidance and support, with whom we’ve had such fun and such meaningful prayers (and meals – and visits) I wish you the gift of as much goodness as you’ve brought us – an enormous deluge of joy.  To our dear rabbi and his family a special thanks for being our gateway to this new life and all that it has meant. 

Rick_cindy
And to Rick, my partner, love and best friend, eternal gratitude to you for your courage and determination, love and generosity, talents and humor and incredible incredible soul.  Happy anniversary.  Thanks for the memories, the adventures, our amazing children,  and this astonishing, still emerging journey.  L’shana tova.

14 thoughts on “A NEW YEAR, A 36th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, A LOT TO THINK ABOUT”

  4. Those unresolved issues can certainly eat away at you.
    I resolved to make amends / get to the heart of the issue a couple of year ago. I was all geared up, nervous, but practiced what to say, what to do, how to manage matters.
    I waited for just the right moment, day after day after day. The right moment never arrived, my sister is just the same as she always was. I didn’t understand her then, or now, she is a complete mystery to me, but I lover her none the less because of that.
    Best wishes

  5. Cynthia,
    Happy new year and happy anniversary. What a good time for love and healing thoughts. Your spirit shines through.

  10. congratulations from another September bride (ten years today, the 19th). It’s wonderful and nourishing to be shown an example of a relationship that stays vital and vibrant over the years.

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