Well it’s finally over. All that’s left now is to move all the Passover stuff (dishes, pots, flat ware, utensils, pot holders, dish towels, condiments, coffee pot, etc) down to the basement and reinstitute the usual kitchen — including replacing a pantry full of cereal, rice, Tasty Bites instant Indian food, cous cous, brownie mixes, pasta sauce, olives, capers, and all the rest.)
It’s a real pain in the neck. I started this post Tuesday night and should have taken photos but suffice it to say we stopped and started and it’s now 7AM Thursday and everything is back where it was. I’m kind of embarassed by how hostile this long long holiday has made me. In the time from the Monday night it started until Wednesday evening of the next week, we spent five days living “Sabbath rules” — no driving, no cooking, no turning lights on /off, no shopping etc. In addition to all the stuff we weren’t allowed to eat (Passover rules forbid anything that isn’t “kosher for Passover” — nothing that has been leavened (bread, cereal, pasta etc). plus lots of other products without Kosher for Passover lables) we used different dishes, pots, utensils, napkins, dish towels etc etc etc. (Those were some of what I had to store at the close of the holiday.)
I used to really love Passover and very early on some of our Orthodox friends (women) warned me that it was so much work I might never feel the same way about it despite the magnificent religious and political messages of freedom and justice it contains.
It’s the enormous amout of work that changes things. For some reason it really set me off – I’ve been pissed for days, even though, unlike our friends, I didn’t do any entertaining to speak of. Since this was the first year we’ve observed the holiday in this way, we only bought a few “Pesach” articles; figured next year we’d do it up right. One of my friends told me I might have been less upset if I’d just invited people and used paper plates…. that not entertaining for some of the TEN!! “festive meals” – (Sabbath eve and lunch — as well as two seders, two other dinners on the last two days and four lunches i addition to Shabbat) — just made me feel more anxious. We did enjoy each of the meals to which we were invited, and were grateful to be asked, but who knows?
Anyway it’s over now until next year; I have some time to get used to yet another set of obligations. Some days it seems that there are so many and I’m nowhere near all the way there yet…. They say this religion is a journey not a destination. Last week was one where I really felt I still have a long way to go!
I wonder whether it’s women of all faiths that experience similar issues? I wonder if men experience the same angst? Now pass me the Marigold gloves I behind in the washing up.
Best wishes
Maybe it is all of us – but personally I want to learn to do it with more grace and less complaining. It’s built around meaning and tradition – and if I can accept the work and ask for the help I need I think next year will be a lot better. Of course, Marigold gloves would help too….
A friend of mine introduced me to this blog over Passover. After reading your astute comments on the shackles of hair covering, I salivated thinking what you’d post about Passover. For a few years now I’ve been saying that Passover is not a holiday, it is Jewish survival of the fittest. And I’m only 26. Even a generally positive person would have a hard time not complaining about life without satsifying carbs. That used to be the problem for me. I remember crying at the table when I was about 7 years old because I so badly wanted the Matzah to be fluffly Challah. But over the years I have come to have a much deeper struggle with Passover. While I see the need for structure within celebration, I just can’t get excited about a holiday in which every detail of rejoicing is dictated so specifically by Jewish law. I guess one might say that that’s a feature of most religious holidays. But for some reason I feel it most, and resent it most, and feel suffocated most on Seder nights. The conversation and the food and timing all feel like obligations.
Pesach restrictions are not the same as Shabbos restrictions; most importantly, it is OK to cook on yom tov. Before next year (or better yet, before Rosh Hashanah, the next yom tov) talk to your rabbi about this. It will make your yom tov saner.